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Keanu Reeves Does NOT Suck, And I Can Prove It
If I were to tell you about an actor who has worked in major Hollywood films for over 20 years, regularly collaborates with Academy Award-winning writers, actors and directors, and has a legion of fans in all of his films there is no How about the story, what was your first reaction to this person? Would you think “Wow, this guy must be great. Twenty years in studio films, he must be talented.” Just based on the actor’s description written on it, with no names attached, would you be in your right mind? Do you think this person’s skills are not good? He sucks. You probably won’t. However, if after giving you a description I told you that the actor was Keanu Reeves, I bet I knew how you would react. “He sucks!”
I just don’t get it. In every interview he gave, he came across as a perceptive, clear-headed, well-rounded individual who wouldn’t let himself get caught up in the vagaries of stardom and never asked for more than he needed. His costars shone around him, and good directors lined up to have him in their films. However, for some unexplainable reason, he is haunted by the idea that he is dumb. And he has no talent. I just don’t get it.
If he was still making blockbusters 20 years into his career, how could he be so bad? Most of his early contemporaries have left and been forgotten; actors like Christian Slater, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Andrew McCarthy, but he has a huge new movie (The Lake House) coming out this Friday. He has taken a harsher critical hit than he deserves. He’s been questioned, bashed and deplored because he’s good-looking but a hollow affectation. He was considered a flat actor, lacking charisma and lacking emotional depth. However, he still makes blockbuster films here. So you explain to me.
I’ve been a fan of Keanu since his Bill and Ted days. I defended my love for the man who would be Neo to each of my friends and family. I got into screaming matches with people I barely knew just because I heard them beat that guy up. I’ve never lost an argument about him because no one can prove he’s not a gifted, talented performer. They lost because I can attest that he was.
But my arguments stop now. I’m going to prove to the world once and for all that Keanu Reeves doesn’t suck. I’ll demonstrate this to you in a 40-point list format. I assure you that by the time you finish reading this article, you will respect, admire and appreciate the talent of Keanu Reeves.
Let the proof begin…
1. If you weren’t impressed by Keanu’s mean Southern redneck in The Gift, or at least agreed that his enthusiasm was impressive, then we have nothing to say. Just click the “X” and leave the site immediately.
2. Contrary to popular belief, never won a Golden Raspberry Award.I can’t say enough about these actors: Halle Berry, Charlton Heston, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Kevin Costner, Demi Moore, Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, Faye Dunaway, Woody Harrelson and Madonna
3. Donated $38 million to the Wachowski brothers, without being asked, so they could get the Matrix sequel done right. $38 million! Let’s see how much Tom Cruise gave up for one of his old cars.
4. Has worked with the following critically acclaimed directors: Francis Ford Coppola, Ron Howard, Bernardo Bertolucci, Gus Van Sant, Sam Raimi, Tyler Hart Cofford, Lawrence Kasdan, Stephen Fryes, Richard Linklater
6. Keanu’s name means “breeze that blows over the mountains” in Hawaiian, which is pretty cool. Compare that to Jean Claude Van Damme, which roughly translates to “giant bastard” in German.
7. The night before his kiss-filled love scene for “Walking on the Clouds,” Keanu put a puck to his mouth and got six stitches. He still went to work the next day and filmed the scene in six hours. Let’s see a dude like Orlando Bloom do it! Keanu is hardcore.
8. Showed great foresight and good judgment (which is better than I can say Sandra Bullock), handily forgoing a $10 million paycheck to star in “Furious 2” because he thought the script not good. He is right. Tell me again why people think he’s stupid?
9. Deferred part of his salary in The Replacements (2000) so that Gene Hackman could star. Clearly, this man knows what makes a movie great. That’s the Harker.
10. Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. You know, they don’t just take that stuff out.
11. Personal quote: “I’m a fool, man. You have smart people and you have stupid people. I just happen to be stupid.” At least this guy had enough guts to admit who he is.
12. Not stiff, dull or stupid like Paul Walker.
13. Starred in six films that grossed over $100 million. That’s more than many of the following actors claim to be “better” than Keanu: Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Colin Farry Richard Gere, Hugh Grant, Ethan Hawke, Val Kilmer, Jude Law, Matthew McConaughey, Sean Penn, Joaquin Phoenix, Tim Rowe Binns, Kevin Spacey, Vince Vaughn, Dennis Quaid and Al Pacino!
14. Almost never in the tabloids, a very welcome quality considering the abundance of media whores we have today (ahem, TomKat!).
15. Yes, it gives the impression that he’s an idiot, and no, it’s not Shakespeare, but come on, who doesn’t love Bill and Ted’s wonderful adventures!
16. “I’m an FBI agent!” That line rules.
17. Decided to leave his band “Dogstar” so the rest of the band wouldn’t be held back by his fame or busy schedule. For some other asshole actor/wanna-rocker (ahem, Russell Crowe), that’s more than I can say.
18. Managed to keep a straight face through a terrible sweet November. It takes talent.
19. Has worked with the following Oscar-winning actors: Al Pacino, Gene Hackman, Rachel Weisz, Charlize Theron, Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Morgan Freeman, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington, Anthony Quinn, Kevin Kline, William Hurt, then at Bill & Ted’s The person who plays Bill in . I’m pretty sure he’s won several Oscars by now.
20. is “one”. Warrant mention.
21. Knowing the limitations of his acting skills, in the process of acting, not playing roles that he can’t play; this means that not only his movies are better, but every movie he rejects is also better. He’s making movies he’s not good at, and someone gave up for this man.
22. No computer. So you know what that means…not a MySpace whore.
23. Roger Ebert had this to say about Keanu in his review for Speed: “Keanu Reeves has never had a role like this before. In fact, in his previous films, he played the mysterious Prince Siddhartha, and in general he tends to For dreamy, sensitive characters. That’s why it’s a little surprising to see him so calm and focused here, a totally convincing action hero, in similar situations as Clint Eastwood or Harrison Ford Focused and resourceful.
24. Has made all kinds of movies.
25. He plays Buddha. No, I mean it, “that” Buddha. Between playing Freak Buddha and drug addict at Bill & Ted’s, why do people think he has no range?
26. Back in the ’80s, he taught some history to stonemasons around the world (and brought Napoleon to Waterlube). Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that he’s totally not, blah, blah, blah, blah.
27. Despite being seen as a “drug addict,” he was never categorized on screen. Among his various film roles, he has played: FBI Agent, Cop, Serial Killer, Lawyer, Doctor, Dentist, The One, Quarterback, Musician, Advertising Executive, Nuclear Physicist (hello!), A redneck, a soldier, a goddamn Buddha, a gay crook and a dog boy.
28. He knows kung fu. So, you know, don’t mess with him.
29. When Keanu decided to make a sequel: Bill and Ted’s Faux Journey. When Keanu decides not to make a sequel: Speed 2. Can this guy pick a winner, or what?
30. None of the following: Scientologist (Tom Cruise), John (Hugh Grant), Drug Addict (Robert Downey Jr.), Liar (Jude Law), Phone Thrower (Russell Crowe), hard to work with (Val Kilmer) or a mean bastard (Sean Penn)
31. In addition to his obvious acting talents, Keanu: Surfs, rides motorcycles, is a good enough hockey goalie to earn the nickname “The Wall,” performs Shakespeare, reads philosophy, plays guitar in many rock bands, socializes dance, ride horses, and “know” kung fu. Is there anything he can’t do?
32. His name is actually pronounced “kay-ah-nu,” not “key-ah-nu,” but it’s never a big fuss (ahem, DEMI!).
33. On-screen romances: Charlize Theron (twice), Sandra Bullock (twice), Monica Bellucci (twice), Rachel Weisz (twice) , Carrie-Anne Moss (three times), Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, Dina Meyer and Uma Thurman. It doesn’t necessarily prove how much he sucks specifically, but it does prove that popular actresses want to fuck him on screen, which is an important quality in movie stars these days. For example, no one wants to nail Adam Sandler, and even if you count Drunk Love twice, he’s not as good as Keanu.
34. Appeared in the pilot episode of Jay Mohr’s short-lived show Action. Since the show rules them all, he in turn gets a percentage of the ruling. Let’s say 17%.
35. To his eternal credit, he never made a cameo on Will & Grace, making him one of five movie stars in the world who never made a cameo.
36. Is the host of a documentary program called “Children Remember the Holocaust”. He supports Faith, and I support him.
37. There was a college class based on his films. “The Keanu Reeves Film” at Art Center College of Design, Pasadena, CA. Name another so-called “rotten” actor who has a college class named after him? That’s right, you can’t, because Keanu is the only one. Because he kicks ass and educates the youth of tomorrow.
38. Turned down the role of Val Kilmer in Heat to make Hamlet in Canada. If I haven’t said it before, let me say it now, this man is dedicated to his craft. He works on it, he tries new things. He has been working. Even if you don’t think he’s getting better, at least he’s trying. How many movie stars keep pushing themselves after they become famous? How many people just get along with average characters and lackluster performances? Keanu pushed himself. Going out of his way to overcome his limitations, he pushed himself, and I respect him for that.
39. Roger Lewis, British theater critic for The Sunday Times of London (he knows something about Shakespeare, he’s British after all) had this to say about Keanu’s performance of the Prince of Denmark in Hamlet in Winnipeg Evaluation: “He fully embodies the innocence, brilliant rage, leaps and bounds of animal grace, and emotional violence that make up the Prince of Denmark. He’s one of the top three Hamlets I’ve ever seen, for one simple reason: he ‘is’ Hamlet. “
40. Gave the world the words “Bogus, dude” and we are eternally grateful for it.
Now tell me, after reading this article, do you still think he sucks?
I do not think so.
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