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Bad News May Really Be Good News
Have you ever encountered something in your life that at first glance seems like a terrible misfortune, but looking back, you will find that it was actually a valuable experience that taught you something What do you need to learn? Sometimes the outcome of events that look or feel so bad at the moment give us inspiration or new direction and focus.
A parable I read many years ago sums up my point perfectly:
A farmer had a horse, but one day the horse ran away and the farmer and his son had to plow the land themselves. Their neighbor said, “Oh, it’s bad luck that your horse ran away!” But the farmer replied, “Bad luck, good luck, who knows?”
The following week, the horse returned to the farm with a herd of wild horses. “What luck!” the neighbors shouted, but the farmer replied, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”
Then the farmer’s son was thrown while trying to ride a wild horse and broke his leg. “Oh, that’s bad luck,” sympathized the neighbors. Again the farmer replied, “Bad luck, good luck, who knows?”
Soon after, the ruler of the country recruited all the young men to fight in his army. The son had a broken leg and was left at home. “It’s a good thing your son wasn’t forced into battle!” celebrated the neighbor. The farmer said, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”
In my own life, from my teens to my early twenties, I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, ended up broke, homeless, and broke the law. My life has no hopes, dreams or sense of direction. I was completely lost, at a real crossroads, and in great pain. I feel like there must be something better than this. So I decided to choose something better for myself.
(Note that I don’t know what to choose, but I know what I don’t want, and this is my first step.)
The first thing I did was stop drinking and doing drugs, get a job and start looking for a way out, which is not easy for a 22 year old. Boy do I feel sorry for myself? Looking back almost 30 years later, what seemed like the end of the world was actually the beginning of a whole new life that I might never have found had I not crashed and burned at such a young age. I’m living a life now that I never imagined when I was 22.
Find opportunities amidst challenges
This morning I was talking to a good friend who was just diagnosed with cancer for the third time. She shared with me that she had been diagnosed and treated for cancer twice before, learning incredible lessons along the way. While she doesn’t wish this to happen to herself or anyone, she can recognize the gift her journey has brought her.
She went on to say that after the shock of the news that the cancer had returned, she realized it. While she doesn’t know if this third episode is “her time,” she realizes that, either way, she needs to work on some unfinished business with her two kids. While she would normally prefer to avoid the problem, she now feels like she has to deal with it. Through her dire news comes yet again the urgency and courage to confront her toughest issues head on. She decided to be honest with her children and share what she knew in her heart needed to be said.
Successful people have shared similar stories with me over and over, recounting horrific events like divorce, illness, or the loss of a loved one that dramatically changed their entire course of life. However, this change may also have taken them to a much better place than they ever imagined. If those supposedly horrific experiences hadn’t happened, they might not have made up their minds to make other changes along the way.
I’m not saying there isn’t such a thing as tragedy or loss. What I mean is that loss and pain can be just one aspect of difficult experiences; meaningful experiences from our challenges can lead to positive outcomes. For example, a mother who lost her child to DUI founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), which has saved many lives. Helen Keller used vision or hearing impairments to teach the rest of us important lessons about life. Nelson Mandela spent half his life in prison trying to bring peace to South Africa, but he emerged from his cell to lead his country as its first post-apartheid president.
The next time you think something is really bad, remember it could also just be another gift in disguise. It’s all in the way you look at it.
“There are no mistakes, no coincidences; all events are blessings for our learning.” -Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
“There is an equal or greater good in every adversity.” -Napoleon Hill
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