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Online Dating – How To Use Instant Messaging To Your Advantage
Some people believe that instant messaging should be avoided at all costs when it comes to starting conversations with women we meet online.
I kind of understand the sentiment, based on the logic that it’s always a good idea to get women from email to phone — and then meeting for the first time — as quickly as possible.
Add to that the fact that a lot of water starts to surge from under the proverbial bridge, and if we end up disappointing, we may find ourselves wasting a lot of time. There is no doubt that IM can be a major aggravating factor when prolonging the pre-conference period.
Likewise, the more we talk to women before we actually meet them, the more likely we are to fall into the dream effect, where we literally invent an image of a “real” woman we’re dealing with when we’re not actually there. No benefit from knowing what the reality is. The longer this goes on, the more destructive the disappointment will be when it happens. We’ll discuss Dreamscape Effect in more detail in a future article.
Learn more about how to attract and seduce women using phone calls, text messages and voicemail
Well, yes…if women are using IM just to delay the first meeting, then it should be avoided. If she’s repeatedly refusing to escalate to the next level of communication (e.g. email to IM, IM to phone, phone to meeting) but continues to show interest, then that’s probably what you’re dealing with. “Be safe” and “take your time” are good excuses, but she’s often nervous about letting you down, and there’s probably good reason for that.
With all that said, here are some great ideas for using IM as an effective tool:
Attract and seduce using phone calls, text messages and voicemails
1. It’s good practice
David DeAngelo gets credit for talking about IM (and online chat rooms) as a “female simulator.” While my own personal style is always focused on the fact that there is actually a real human being behind any online interaction, IM is definitely a great “testing ground” for fine-tuning your interactions with women.
You have some time to organize your words, and you can erase and retype before hitting “send.” You can’t do that over the phone or in person, can you?
But this part is obvious. Few will remember that she had the same advantage.
So look alive, guys.
You might get the challenge you’re looking for from some sharper women who have their own game beyond typing “Hi, what are you doing?”
As you invest more time in IMing, you’ll find that your real-time interactions will become more fluid and natural, and your drawing speed will be a little faster. This is a good thing.
2. You can balance conversations with multiple women at the same time
Contrary to the myth that IM is a “time waster”, I’m here to tell you that IM is pretty much a gift to men who date multiple women. You can actually have conversations with as many women as you want at once, even while multitasking.
Of course, this is handy if you work from home or spend a lot of time on your computer. You can literally make sure you’re paying enough attention to certain women in your life so they don’t feel left out without texting or calling them individually.
Just don’t get windows mixed up. That’s bad.
3. Long Distance Pen Pals Rock
Yes. You don’t want to be in a serious, emotional relationship with someone who is hundreds or thousands of miles away. Given.
But if you know how to keep your head above water, meeting women from other places online – which is especially easy on some niche dating sites – can be a lot of fun.
The IM conversations you can have with them are a major reason.
Something unusual happens when a woman thinks she has very little chance of seeing you…and therefore you have very little chance of interacting with her local friends and relatives.
Many times, she loses some level of inhibition.
In these cases, you can influence particularly hot, sexually charged conversations faster than you can with women who might actually meet you someday.
Call it an “anti-slut defense” with less urgency. Call it a greater degree of bluff because of the insulation of the distance. any.
Importantly, even higher-quality, respectable women who live farther away have more flirtatious, sexier conversations faster and faster than women who live nearby.
Not only is this a great deal of fun, but again, it seriously helps you develop games when you get stuck in real life. This is not a bad thing.
By the way, the mechanics of having these types of conversations are very similar to conversations over the phone. Telephone Seduction is covered in detail in my new audio program Telecom Game.
And, of course, a particularly delightful by-product of this whole effect comes from the added dimension…
Man, just fifteen years ago, the concept of video conferencing was something futuristic, no? I remember spending thousands of dollars setting up huge V-Tel monitors and pixelated BRI ISDN-driven images back in the day when I first entered the IT world. crazy.
Today, you can pick up a $20 “eye camera” from the electronics store of your choice, and with the magic of broadband, it’s all a reality.
But the irony is that we have jointly discovered that when we are on the phone, we don’t really care about seeing each other. Video conferencing has never been as ubiquitous as we guessed.
After all, it’s amazing how few times we answer the phone and actually feel “respectable” enough to record a video.
As a result, most of us have pretty much learned to ignore video conferencing, or even consider it a choice.
But, see, here’s the thing. Many women still have $20 webcams.
Like I said, they tend to lose inhibitions faster when they live thousands of miles away from you.
If you’re manly enough to properly ignite her femininity, and patient enough not to act like the MySpace newbie in Tila Tequila’s picture section, you might find yourself performing for you after a successful sex-filled conversation It was her idea.
Don’t force it, let it happen. If you feel you’ve gotten far enough in the conversation, and she’s showing serious interest in some intense flirting, even to the point of having open sex, then you can subtly imply that she’s talking a lot, but not acting enough.Ha ha
One caveat. If you think women are going to be impressed by your sudden, unexpected NIFOC (“naked in front of the computer”) appearance as soon as you fire up the cam, you’ve got a long way to go.
Women are wired differently. Oddly enough, women do expect NIFOC men once the cams start, so you really don’t “surprise” anyone. But more than that, they expect it because they’re used to needy guys who are sex-centric and don’t know how women are wired.
But when executed well in terms of building sexual tension and what I call female “chemistry,” the possibilities are endless.
5. Single Dad’s Secret Weapon
Shout out to the single parent brethren. I’ve been there myself, and the specific issue you’re facing isn’t discussed enough in the Seduction Community.
When you get full-time custody of the kids, you have responsibilities, so you can’t go out every night.
More so if you can’t have a proper phone conversation with a woman in front of your kids, right?
Long live instant messaging.
And, well… I guess if you’re still living at home with your mom, you also can’t have a proper phone conversation without stepping outside. So maybe the idea has multiple applications.
So there you have it. By the way, it’s wise to make sure you use “smiley”. Think unexpected and edgy rather than typical or “good.” This way you will always send the correct message. Never use the standard smiley or wink emoji if you can. I’m starting to think some people just can’t help it.
You can find tons of secret “hidden” emoji for Yahoo IM with a simple search on Yahoo. It’s always good to catch women off guard. Try “don’t listen” when she lashes out at you, and “dance” after you drop a particularly good C/F line.
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