A 107-Year-Old Woman Said The Secret To Her Longevity Is Love Online – Why Relationships Are Ending With a Click

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Love Online – Why Relationships Are Ending With a Click

You know that line from TS Eliot’s poem, “The end of the world is not with a bang, but with a whimper”?

Is it possible that modern relationships don’t even get that far, and many end up with just a click of the mouse?

While talking to a friend’s 16-year-old daughter, a casual discussion about her “love life” led her to some disturbing discoveries about love online.

As she enthusiastically recounted the great conversations, great games, and exciting vacation plans she shared with the men of the moment, she became surprisingly subdued when I asked about actual times, places, and dates.

Finally she admits that everything is fine online…But the two never spoke a word face to face.

Single White Women Looking for Loyal Texters

I could see she was upset by this fact and encouraged her to talk about it.

Here’s what one young girl had to say about finding love online:

  • When we were actually in the same room, we had nothing to say.
  • When he looked me in the eye, I was so embarrassed I had to look away.
  • Talking to someone face to face is a lot of work.
  • It’s much better to rehearse and edit what you want to say.
  • If I meet a guy in person, I get so nervous I just ask him to text me.

It was my turn to be tame. The list of worries seemed to overwhelm her. When I asked her if she’d ever tackled these problems with someone in particular, she looked at me like I was suggesting she bungee jump off a building without a rope. Oh no. She and her girlfriends decided to take another tack.

They will only form relationships with people who are really good at texting.

As I desperately searched for the right G-rated comment, she added with wide-eyed sincerity, “People are so much better off in profile than in person.”

Forget Mr Right, even his brother Mr Right Now.

It appears that many young women today are simply developing with Right click on mr.

you have mail

What is certain is that modern means of communication such as mobile and the internet are very efficient and easy to use for teens.

But they also distance users from other people and reality.

  • How many of you now prefer to receive text messages instead of phone calls?
  • How many of you have been “dumped” or had a friendship cut off via email?
  • Whose username is a bit mysterious or fancy?
  • Their avatars reflect their fertile part, Inside people instead of their yearbook photos… (or is it true that everyone is a superhero and names are usually reserved for birds of prey…?)

As a teenager, I had a lot of pen pals and even exchanged some flirtatious letters.

Protected by the physical distance that this communication allows, I can speak openly and honestly about a wide variety of topics. I don’t need to worry about my voice getting stuck in my throat or spinach getting stuck in my braces. I wasn’t distracted by having to interpret body language signals that appealed to adolescent males like alien transmissions.

But most of these pen pals live in easily accessible places like Finland and Colombia, where our paths are unlikely to meet at the local fish and chip shop.

So, like desperate teenagers everywhere, I had to “put myself out there”.

Yes, it was painful and there were many awkward moments where I suddenly lost my ability to speak English or I tripped over a floral pattern on the rug.

But I survived, and even learned to ride that thrilling wave that relentlessly pushes you into the most humiliating moments, just to make the object of your love smile at you and say the perfect words.

This – for any young readers out there – is something called “Dating”.

Beyond the Pickup Line

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Dating is ultimately about communication.

If you study those rare creatures that can turn the most dreadful dating experience into a huge success, you will usually find that they are great communicators.

I have a friend who has been dating extensively and successfully for many years. She has her fair share of cringe-worthy moments, but instead of taking misfortune as a personal insult, she sees it as a challenge and does what she can to fix it.

This includes applying some ground rules for effective communication.

Here are six principles of effective communication that I’ve applied to any in-person first date scenario:

  1. know your audience – If your online communications are real, you probably already know a lot about your date. Demonstrate this by asking questions about some of their interests. Encourage them to learn more about you by sharing some personal stories or insights. Focus on the story instead of sweaty palms, and before you know it, you’ll be talking faster than you can type!
  2. understand your purpose – Be clear about why you are spending time with this person. If you’ve expressed your intentions honestly online, this should be a breeze. Even say ahead of time what you want to remove from the date so there are no crossed lines.
  3. know your subject – When dating, your topic is simple: you and who you are with. Be ready to talk, even if you have to rehearse a few anecdotes before you go. Years from now, as you sit together in a nursing home looking back on fifty years of marriage, you’ll laugh at the cue card you had in your pocket on your first date!
  4. expected misunderstanding – Face-to-face communication with anyone is prone to misunderstandings. It is expected that you will disagree on things, or you may not express your thoughts as clearly as you can in a great article you write online. Learn to clarify your point of view and laugh it off.
  5. communicate a little at a time – Short dates are often good dates! You can also limit conversations by watching movies or games where body language can make most of the difference.
  6. present information in a variety of ways ——Face-to-face communication is just a way of expression. Text messages, phone calls, emails, letters are all great ways to communicate – they shouldn’t be the only way!

read between (blog) lines

What ultimately makes us great communicators is Our ability to read others.

Because body language occupies such a central place in the communications we share with others, it is imperative that we encourage our young people to develop the skills to read the emotions and intentions of others.

But it seems to me, as far as my young friend is concerned, that it is taken literally, the point is readinstead of fascinating and those around her.

As a writer, teacher, and avid reader, I urge people to read on and explore the ways other people present themselves on paper.

But if your goal is more than one-dimensional understanding, put the phone and mouse aside and communicate with people, not personal data.

The problem with communication is the illusion that it has happened.

— Bernard Shaw

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