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Managing Kids’ Behaviour – Kids 5, Adults 0 – Not the Result You Want!

Solving more trouble in mainstream schools – but some great examples of how things can go wrong and how to deal with bad behaviour. …

I keep a close eye on what is going on at the school where the child I mentioned is in. Why? Much of it is about letting the kids know that I know what they’re doing and that I’m able to deal with problems as they arise. Additionally, I can support teachers in learning how to manage behavior effectively. There is very little training on managing children’s behavior – and much of what is available is inaccurate, unclear and largely pointless, adults need all the help they can get!

Anyway, yesterday morning I called a school and asked to report a boy, Jack, who had recently moved to 5th grade. His new head teacher has recently started working at the school and is only in her second year teaching. Like many others, she just wanted to learn how to manage children – no training or guidance was offered.

I always emphasize what actions you take when a situation has the potential to go wrong to measure your success as a behavioral manager. How on earth are you supposed to know what action to take if you’re not trained to handle potentially difficult situations? No wonder a lack of confidence in managing classroom behavior is cited as the number one reason teachers leave their jobs. Insufficient behavior management training, mistreatment of young teachers…and kids!

Shut down your soapbox Liz… what happened next?

I heard that Jack started an argument with the TA when he had to do some paperwork the previous afternoon. The adults tried to make him do the job, but Jack became increasingly clumsy and argumentative – becoming very verbally aggressive. The more the adults insisted, the more stubborn Jack became and the more he argued. At this point, adults must take effective action to assert their authority. What did they do? Hmm – sorry, but they’re not doing the right thing.

They grow more and more concerned that forcing Jack to finish the job will create an unstable situation, and they fear he will become more violent, so they back off and give Jack some color to get it done!

Oh no! A perfect example of rewarding unacceptable behavior – which is pretty much the worst thing ever!

The results of it?

Jack 5, Adults NIL…total control to a grumpy 9 year old…not what you want…

So, where did that leave me, and what did I do? I gently told the teacher that she had done something wrong but could correct it. I had to let her know I was there for her to make sure she had the confidence to take the necessary action. Unfortunately, a lot of suffering could have been avoided if simple behavior management techniques had been adopted years ago when a smaller and younger Jack was first showing off his little muscles – but if everyone could be like me Then I’d be out of a job… well, maybe I shot myself in the foot and should shut up…

With the plan in place, Jack arrives, having to face the consequences of his appalling behavior the previous afternoon – starting with writing an apology letter to two adults at the school on his own time. He was then told there would be further consequences if he misbehaved again. It’s up to him to face the consequences – behave well and the consequences won’t happen – really easy! The message he got was that I was not at all happy with what I got from the school.

Jack left for school that afternoon, after being reminded to hand over his letter to an adult and offer a verbal apology and letter for his bad behaviour. Later that afternoon, I decided to check in later on how things were going. They were absolutely fine – Jack was brilliant in class and behaved like they were out of date!

Consequences are the focus for kids—they have to learn that bad behavior won’t be tolerated, while adults walk the talk and enforce consequences when needed.

The final result? A happy little boy plus an adult with growing confidence in managerial behavior…that’s what this job is worth!

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