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Parenting: How to Set Standards, Even for Bad Kids – FamilyVision Column

His parents gave little Dante everything he wanted. Dante was only five years old. He called his parents by their first names. When he shouted dirty words at his friends, his parents only smiled at his behavior. Little Dante is out of control. The teacher can’t control him, the classmates don’t like him, and the parents are afraid of him. At a grocery store, Dante’s mother tells him to stop. Dante hit her with his fist. An old man watched in amazement. Dante’s mother said, “I don’t know what to do. He’s not a controllable kid. What should I do?” The senior smiled politely at Dante as she stepped on his mother’s foot.

The Wild World of Parenting

How do you gain control if you have “wild children”? What does it take to be an effective parent? You have bad kids and don’t know what to do? Parents must be parents again if America is to take our children back. The Columbine and Heritage school shootings proved that extreme violence can happen anywhere. This is a dire situation for any sane person. The killer could be the kid next door or in your house. According to a study, many of these violent children did not come from abusive, neglectful parents. Some kids live their lives as if there are no consequences for their actions. Some parents have no expectations for their children. This is the factor waiting for an accident to happen. A child sees the world as a great opportunity for entertainment—the world revolves around his wishes. no! However, it does happen. For example, a 15-year-old from Oregon named Kip who was accused of shooting dead his parents and two high school classmates had a history of problems. His parents, public school teachers, had two children and lived in a forested commune. Kip is a grumpy boy with a ###### rating on bombs, guns and killing. His parents tried to control his inner demons with Ritalin and Prozac and counseling. His gun-hating parents eventually gave in and brought their son a semi-automatic rifle. They paid a heavy price for their son’s acceptance.

parenting expectations

Who is making your family rules? Parents today need to set expectations for their children. According to recent research, the children of professionals today are less likely to reach the same high economic status as their parents than similar children 25 years ago. Society really doesn’t expect much from this generation. I often think of the contempt some children have for authority. Take a look at your neighborhood and school. What went wrong? Our generation has abandoned the traditions of our parents in order to be different. We trusted our hearts and listened to family experts. How did this lack of respect start? It started naively. A parent smiles at a bit of profanity from their toddler. Isn’t it cute! Most people want to pass the blame—the media, uncaring parents, peer pressure, violent children, or the lack of strong gun laws. The media tells our children that they can have it all without making any sacrifices. It is not true to say that our children can escape this crazy publicity. However, we must teach our children.

Parenting Solutions

In the end, parents must set the standard. We cannot expect our children to behave ethically if they are modeled by immoral, hateful, and heartless adults. Childcare is a hands-on, full-time job. Parents of the past had high expectations for their children and were uncompromising in their determination. I grew up in the Cedar Grove community in Louisiana and found God to be a big part of my family. Parenting is a very difficult task. Is it realistic to believe that you too can be your child’s best friend and parent? Doesn’t that sound like a conflict of interest? Parents need to make tough family decisions every day—decisions that might sound too harsh for their kids. Communication is critical to any subsistence household; however, adults must be concerned with both the long-term implications and short-term consequences of decisions. However, what is more important? We have to go back to basics. Look to our wise predecessors for guidance. Today, we have more education and material possessions than past generations. But I ask you this question, “How can so few give so much, and we have so much, how can we give so little.” We must come together as a nation to set high standards for all children. Yes, we adults must take on our responsibility to set a good example. If we fail on such a large commission, we will be rewarded as we deserve. Perhaps, the next generation of leaders will be lost. Focus on leading your family. Set the standard. starting today!

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