A Fifteen-Year-Old Girl Who Shot Herself At A Gun Place I Am Depressed!

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I Am Depressed!

Hearing another friend say “I’m depressed” made me wonder if we’re taking the whole psychology thing too far. I mean, on the one hand we have strict Indian parents who call it “unnecessary drama”. On the other hand we have newbies – people who have access to all the information in the world on Google, and whose Facebook news feed always pulls up videos and articles about depression and how its symptoms are ignored until it’s time It’s too late, who reads stories on wattpad about depressed and lonely girls who catch the eye of the school’s most popular boys etc… do we somehow glorify depression?

As teenagers, we all have mood swings. Sweet words from a stranger feel like the top of Mount Everest, while Mom asking us to clean our house can make us feel like we’re being forced to jump off Everest. Nothing new. This has happened to every teen over the years, although the battleground may be different for each generation. We want our parents to be good listeners, and then feel like they are invading our personal space if they ask us how our day was. For some of us, our peers seem to be the only ones who “get us,” while for others, peers are a daily thorn in our side that must be avoided. We want love, but we don’t understand what love really is. We want to be free, but we don’t know what it is that we really need to get rid of. But as we grow up, we usually realize that while the people around us are not perfect, they love us and are good to us. It has been like this until now.

But all of a sudden, Google is throwing phrases like “depression, neurosis, insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks, etc.” at us. We were like, “Oh my God, this is something new.” Soon we had academic articles on depression and anxiety on our phone screens. Every story will have a frustrated person, usually a girl who cuts her wrists and a man who somehow selflessly finds beauty and selflessly pulls her out of that black hole. We love it. We like the fact that someone is responsible for our mistakes.

Of course, I’m not saying that depression isn’t real. It’s very, very true, and it’s becoming more prevalent due to the amount of stress kids are experiencing these days, which is probably why it’s starting to get so much attention. But when 15-year-olds start acting like it’s the end of the world, their phones are confiscated, or when 17-year-olds drink to “drown their problems” i.e. daddy asks them if they don’t study what will happen to them in life What to do, or when kids commit suicide because they are not allowed to watch some TV series (this happened in India in 2013)…you know something is wrong.

These days, we have more books, articles, TV shows, and seminars on how to be a good parent, but less on how to be a good kid. Somehow, we’ve come to understand this as permission that we can live on our own terms, act irresponsibly, give all our God-given abilities to the devil, and still expect our elders to smile and keep silent. We want our parents to be perfect; we want people to accept us, even when we act like grumpy, moody, sullen little monkeys. We learn that our pain is always their fault, and that we feel “down” precisely because of the way they treat us.

I know what I’m talking about. At the risk of sounding like an old hermit, let me say I’ve been through it all. I never smile at people or make an effort to talk to them and expect them to love me and reach out to me. I think my parents tortured me just because they wanted me to study. Just study, nothing else. No one forced me to do something I couldn’t do. No one wants to leave me alone. What people say or do to me is just a reaction. The reason I am suffering is because I am not doing anything for what God has called me to do. (Trust me, everyone has a mission). But I try to make everyone around me miserable because it seems to me that I’m a damsel in distress and everyone else is an ogre.

And now, I see the same thing in most teens I meet. We don’t want to live responsibly, act compassionately or speak inspirationally. But we want all of that from others. We don’t see that everything is just a reaction to our actions. So what do we do when we don’t get what we want? Throwing a teenage version of grumpiness — and getting into ‘depression’

Don’t be fooled, my friends. Don’t mistake depression for being “cool” or “beautiful” or something. Don’t think that saying “no one loves me” is the new fad. Depression has been a demon in your head. Most of us can’t even begin to understand that feeling. Don’t use depression as a sword against those who love you because they don’t always behave the way you want them to.

So instead of trying to make everyone around us perfect, why don’t we focus on being better people, better students, better kids, better friends and better human beings? It’s okay to make mistakes. That’s how we grow up. We do hurt people. That is to be human. But never pass the blame for your mistakes onto others. Ask God and man for forgiveness, and move on. try again. Do your best and be the best you can be. Find your calling and dedicate your life to it. Then you will find peace and grace flowing into your life and joy flowing into your heart.

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