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Teacher Student Sex Scandals Investigated – This Could Be Your Child’s School
As a grandparent of four school-age children and a professional with 33 years of experience in child sexual abuse prevention and recovery, and author of “If I Only Knew…Sexual Abuse in and Out of the Family”: Prevention Guidelines,” My Anger and Disappointment at News Report “Investigating Teacher-Student Sex Scandal, School District Should Limit Out-of-School Contacts by Teachers, Students, Experts Say,” CBS Channel 5, Phoenix, AZ, May 20, 2009 Report misinformation and misrepresentation of the modus operandi of sex offenders, and a standard list of misinformation and misrepresentations.In addition, parents and teachers are not provided with specific strategies to protect children from this heinous crime that is often committed against children.
My grandchildren were some of those who were prepared because they were educated about protecting themselves from would-be sex offenders. Since crimes are carried out in secret, who better to protect themselves than the potential targets of a crime? Skills for defending against sex offenders can be taught to children as young as two years old. Parents, teachers, and kids can learn seven compelling, parent-approved and child-tested techniques for deterring most would-be sex offenders. Teaching children sexual abuse prevention skills does not require sex education or detailed information about how they may be harmed.
The report’s opening line begins a string of misinformation—“Dozens of Arizona teachers are accused of having inappropriate or illegal relationships with students each year,…” The use of the quantifiable term “dozens” suggests that the total is low, fact In the past four years, 104 cases of teacher sexual abuse have been reported in Metro Phoenix. Not to mention the many incidents of teacher sexual abuse of children that go unreported every year.
Terms such as: “relationship”, “dating”, etc. [a fifteen-year-old child “…was allegedly dating one of her teachers,”] “Romance” and “romance” mean that students and teachers have an equal say in negotiating the terms of the “relationship.” vice versa. Teacher sex offenders rely on their bonds of easy access to children and trusting authority to get what they want—sexual contact with children. Children are taught and rewarded for respecting teachers and authority. This fact alone can disarm a child and instill a false sense of security in a child about a would-be sex offender teacher — “Respect your teacher, mine is fine — he/she will never Won’t hurt me.” So a child can easily be lied to, tricked, tricked, seduced, coerced, and threatened if s/he speaks out. “The trust of the innocent is the most useful tool of the liar.” Stephen King
Even more troubling was the statement by High Court Judge Paul Katz, “Teachers should never have a romantic relationship with a student, as such…even if it worked out in the end, it would have been poor judgment.” “.. …even if it ends up being successful…” not only minimized the harm suffered by the child and the bad behavior of the teacher, but the life of the child was immeasurably changed. Without effective and specific recovery from sexual abuse, children enter adulthood with severe emotional and mental damage and often suffer lifelong sequelae. Often, the dots between sexually abused children and their emotional and physical symptoms are disconnected.
As for possible strategies to prevent teachers from sexually abusing children, the only suggestion made was that of state Superintendent Tom Horn, “Some school districts, such as the Paradise Valley School District, already have specific guidelines regarding contact between teachers and students outside of the classroom.” This measure can undoubtedly prevent a small number of children from being victimized. However, is this what we want to protect our children from some would-be teacher sex offenders? What does “outside the classroom” mean? How about in the lobby, gym or playground? These areas are outside the classroom. What are the rules in places where these children are often sexually abused?
It’s not uncommon for gym teachers to “mimic the feel” in the gym while helping students. “Feeling the sensation” can be just as destructive as genital touching or caressing. If you don’t believe that statement, come and sit in my office for a week and you’ll hear the pain and suffering of those who “just fumbled.” Additionally, many students were sexually abused in classrooms or classroom utility rooms.
Horne said that even if he had the power, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to make it harder for teachers to have healthy relationships with students. Mr. Horn is short-sighted and irresponsible to children when he uses the flimsy argument that making it harder for teachers to have healthy relationships with students is not a good idea because many children get help from teachers who cause students to interest and become a role model for students.
There is a huge difference between having a healthy relationship with a student and grooming a child for sexual purposes. Many actions and statements by sex offenders reveal their intent. The reason sex offenders hide their intentions is to make them aware of those who can “report” their unacceptable intentions toward their children. If their statements were not known, they would trust that their grooming behavior would not be discovered or reported by anyone, including children. Once the child is desensitized and given “special attention,” the sex offender gradually escalates the intensity and nature of the sexual activity.
Knowing these behaviors and statements makes it relatively easy to identify potential sex offenders. These behaviors are classic and consistent with a sex offender. All adults need to be educated about these behaviors and statements. Then, what?
Well, teachers and administrators should be mindful of this fact, and each follow the teacher as appropriate to prevent any opportunity for the teacher to target and develop students. Surprisingly, a teacher may suspect or know that he/she is being stalked, so their suspicion or knowledge will force the teacher to communicate their intentions further, and thus, they are “caught” before they can do any damage. Once their intentions and actions have entered the grooming stage, that action can be reported to the authorities and dealt with accordingly. “Power by itself is no good unless it is used to protect the innocent.” Jonathan Swift
Faculty who intend to develop healthy teacher-student relationships will have no impact if protocols for vigilance against sex offender behavior and representations are followed.
At the end of the day, it is the responsibility of all adults to protect our children so that they can reach their fullest potential, free from the influence of adults who may wish to use them for their own purposes, thereby altering the divinely gifted potential. “We are responsible not only for what we do, but also for what we don’t do.” – Voltaire
Expert witness Dr. Dorothy Neddermeyer is available to comment on physical and sexual abuse.
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