A Three-Year-Old Went Missing And People Called 911 To Complain Dentists Hate You and They Are Probably Aliens

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Dentists Hate You and They Are Probably Aliens

Dentists hate you. But I guess it’s okay to have an attitude if your entire career revolves around pain, radiation, cavities, gingivitis, bad breath, bleeding and drooling.

You dread going to the dentist all day. You park your car and walk into the dentist’s office 15 minutes before your scheduled appointment to sit in their waiting room for an hour and a half. They teach receptionists how to schedule such a schedule at the Academy of Dental Receptionists. At the School of Dental Hospitality, all students are required to take a minor in How to Cause a Significant Inconvenience to Your Patients. They knew we might complain about the wait, but we were stuck there with no choice. Our complaints were recorded on secret microphones and played at office parties.

Once there, you sit in a well-heated, stuffy waiting room. You can even watch TV, but you can’t touch it. Dental receptionists watch whatever they want; game shows, soap operas, and Oprah. This is the start of their sensory deprivation process, making it easier for them to perform alien experiments on your body. If you don’t want to watch TV, they have a good selection of magazines from 2-3 years ago. They know that old news will help you calm down. If you’ve flipped through the magazines and still have a little money, your eyes will be hypnotized by the indifferent fish in the aquarium. Listen to bubbling aquarium filters. are you sleepy? Listen to alien music played on the intercom. It’s Celine Dion. She is the only Alien to break into the Top 40 in the pop music market.

Behind your present dull state of mind, you hear a voice calling. It’s a hygienist. Suddenly, after waiting 90 minutes, your date has a sense of urgency. They want you to be fucked and go home. Now lie down in a comfortable chair. That chair has a special alien gravity that holds you down without the straps. Have you ever tried getting up from a dental chair quickly?

Let the blood pool in your head as you gaze into the bright light. The more blood in your head, the calmer you are, the more blood they can take from you for evil. Be aware of which sterile room you are in. Does it resemble the spaceship operating theater often described by hypnotized alien abductors? Put on your goggles now so bone chips and broken drill bits don’t fly out of your mouth and get lodged in your eyeballs. Look at the hygienist. She has a mask and goggles. Was it the one who led you into the room? Maybe she was a victim of alien snatching of the body. Now rinse your mouth with the mystery liquid. It kills any bacteria in your mouth that might infect aliens.

Dental professionals prefer to talk to you when you have tools and fingers in your mouth. The strange sound you make is actually the alien’s native language. You don’t realize you’re talking about aliens, and you quickly become frustrated by the apparent lack of communication. Then you can just nod no matter what they’re saying. And that’s okay too, because they have alien mind-reading abilities.

The hygienist will now work for you. They won’t let you see what they put in your mouth. They took courses in magicians and gambling in dental school and became proficient at these tricks. There’s a reason they don’t want you to see these tools. You’d think alien tools were space-age devices. But they are not. Aliens are sadists and want to cause you pain. They’ve been using the same dental surgical tools since the Civil War. If you try to fight their gravity chair and peek at the tool table, they’ll blast your exposed nerves with cold water or air.

How cruel are dentists? Did you know that the US Army Reserve unit that got in trouble for the prisoner abuse in Abu Graib was the dental unit? There was confusion at the assignment office, and the backup dental unit from West Virginia was mistakenly assigned to replace the outgoing military police company at the prison. These dental professionals are just doing what they were taught to do. Torture and humiliate people.

Once the hygienist has scraped all the exposed nerves in your jaw, she’ll go to the dentist. He likes to practice. Drills hurt, but there are worse things. One day he drilled a hole in one of my teeth and we fell into a routine together. He will drill a little. stop. Tears would come to my eyes. Drill, stop, tear. Drill, stop, tear. The cycle repeated about 4 more times, and finally he asked, “Why do you cringe and cry when I stop drilling?” I said, “Doctor, it’s that music! I can hear it every time you stop” Celine Dion’s playing! Please keep practicing!”

Dentists are good at using euphemisms. “You’re going to feel a pinch,” meaning, “feels like a yellow jacket pricking your tonsils.” “You are going to feel a pinch” means, “feels like this pin pierced your tonsils.” Your mouth pierced your eyeball.”

They also use codes to talk to health workers. “Aspiration” meant, “to draw that quart of blood that had accumulated in his throat.” They even assigned a secret numbering system to dental tools. “Give me a size 3, 4, or 8” is shorthand for “gum extractor,” “primitive dangling nerve forceps,” and “bone shredder.”

Now is the time for an x-ray. There is nothing more bizarre than radiation. Do you really think humans invented the X-ray machine in the 1890s? From barber surgeons and phlebotomy to X-ray machines, it was a giant leap forward in medical science. The man who invented the X-ray machine got help from aliens. I really can’t explain what this machine did to you. They stuff things in your mouth (GPS?), immobilize you with lead blankets, and shoot weird rays at you.

Before you leave, they will tell you to floss. They have you rub a nylon thread between your teeth until your gums bleed. This is the same principle as taking a linoleum knife and moving it back and forth between your toes. The last thing they tell you before you leave is not to eat or drink anything for the next 96 hours.

You get a strange feeling when you leave the building and walk towards your car parked in the parking lot. Even though you’ve spent the entire afternoon at the dentist’s office, it feels like only five minutes have passed since you first arrived and got out of the car. This is called “lost time” or “missing time,” and it’s the same phenomenon experienced by alien abductees. coincide?

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