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Parenting, A Full Time Job
When I first became a single dad to an energetic two-and-a-half-year-old baby boy, I knew it wouldn’t be a piece of cake. However, I don’t think I’ll lose two jobs and get fired from the other because of him. But I did. I never took the risk of being a stay at dad. But, being home with my son is something I quickly learned to appreciate. At first I was thinking, what would others think of me, a healthy, strong, mature man sitting around the house every day? However, instead of just sitting at home every day, I have to go to the supermarket, cook, do dishes, do laundry and change diapers, discipline, teach and soon send my son to school every day.
I’m also dealing with his behavior at school, his teachers, and other school officials. I am learning a new job and a new skill through my personal experience. I quickly let go of the fear of taking care of me completely while I was out at work. In fact, when he was with the babysitter, his behavior seemed to be worse than before. I quickly learned that some people claim to be babysitters or caregivers for young children, and some people don’t like children. It’s all about money.
So in some of my meetings with them, I found that some were very nice and thought about how best to overcharge clients who some of them thought were in dire need of child care. Also, for some of them, calling yourself a caregiver for a small child is an easy feat. Some of them should have taken some parenting classes before calling themselves caregivers. They need to understand young children and their needs.
During my ordeal of staying home, I received many job offers. However, I reluctantly turned them down for now.
I do this for a number of reasons related to my young son and his caregiving. Most notably, because I could no longer focus on the job at hand, my employer’s expectations of me, and paying me. When working on certain jobs, my thoughts are always on my young son and what the caretakers did to him or what they didn’t do for him.
At the same time, I was also going through a really bad divorce. That didn’t help. But I still have to make a decision. In the beginning, the decision would affect my income, my standing in the community, and maybe my self-esteem. I’m going to have to put off moving, buying a house, and buying a better car. We’ll be living off my savings because I have the bank for our needs. So, I finally made a life decision.
So I’m a stay-at-home dad. Most single parents in my community are young mothers. Some of them were surprised and even supportive when they found out that I was a single father of a three year old. For some of them, it’s unusual to see a male really involved in his child’s life.
Now Denver has already settled down in the school. However, it took him a while to get used to the routine. I had to sit with him every day due to behavioral issues and in his class I thought I was at fault for going to work every day and some unskilled caregiver I was with him at the time because of his behavior at that time I just learned to value the lesson, that is, children are eager to have parents at home full-time.
After a bit of studying, I still don’t understand why some parents with very young children are willing to let complete strangers, including relatives, babysit their children while they work. I know I have to pay rent, mortgage, car payments and other bills. Most people lose all the fun of being with young children.
They will lose the opportunity to watch their children grow up before their eyes. It’s fun to listen to them learn how to speak. Young children need their parents more than their jobs need them as employees.
If parents dump their young children with strangers every morning and evening, they lose their children in many ways. For example, children grow up to be irresponsible. They don’t respect their parents or anyone. They will refuse to do chores. They can get harsh. They will start failing in school. They may start breaking the law. Some children may even grow up to dislike their parents’ absence.
I’ve heard parents say their kids are driving them crazy. I say it’s a kid’s job to make us go a little crazy. Some people worry if they give us headaches now and then. So stay home with your young child until you’re sure he or she can succeed without you being there all the time. I’m not advocating that no one quit their job, I’m just saying spend more time with your kids, they’ll definitely make you proud.
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