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If Your Girlfriend Left You Over Money Problems, You Need to Take Action
What is the number one reason most relationships break down? Horrible sex? Nagging too much? Incompatible? Another lover? You just got estranged? None of these. By far the biggest reason for relationship failure can be summed up in one word: money.
If you have a money problem, then you have a big problem. There’s nothing more stressful and difficult than constantly worrying about bills, paying rent, paying for a car – and possibly not being able to afford a car at all! If your girlfriend left you because of money issues, then you have one of the most difficult situations to remedy. Getting an ex-girlfriend back to you is hard enough. It’s even harder when you’re strapped for money.
But before we get frustrated with the situation, let’s get some perspective. Many men think that if they have money, or at least affluence, their girlfriends will never leave them. It’s not that simple. If you don’t believe it, follow what’s happening to the rich and famous around the world, be it movie stars or royalty. It quickly becomes apparent that people with a lot of money don’t have better luck in maintaining a relationship – apparently sometimes worse luck. In the next five minutes, how many movie stars can you think of who have had two, three, or four divorces?
In fact, having a lot of money does not guarantee relationship success. If you’re feeling sorry for yourself because your girlfriend left you because of financial problems, it’s time to start rethinking the whole situation. You may be rich, but she may have left.
What does this tell you about money? Obviously, it doesn’t matter how much or how much you have. If your relationship is on solid ground, even a bad money situation shouldn’t be an excuse for your girlfriend to leave. Money is just a convenient excuse, an external factor.
Okay, but let’s also recognize that while money may not be the ultimate reason why she left you, it’s certainly a contributing factor. That’s because the constant pressure on money creates an overall atmosphere of tension and struggle. It’s hard for any relationship to thrive in an environment of constant struggle.
It’s unbelievable how many people do the exact opposite of what they should be doing when it comes to money issues, and their partners leave – and they get themselves into even more debt! that’s right!
There is something in relationship issues that can drive many men to lose all common sense. For example, they think that if they had a better car, maybe their girlfriend would come back to them. So they pulled out all the stops, pulled out all the resources, and took out a huge loan to buy new wheels. So now they have a shiny new car and more debt and payments to worry about. To get that new car, they may have to take out a second mortgage on their house, or run up huge debt on their credit cards.
Others splurge money for some sort of bribe—perhaps an expensive piece of jewelry—to dangle in front of their ex in a desperate attempt to lure her back. Even if this works in the short term, once new bills start coming due, the stress level can rise to a whole new level. In this case, the relationship may be doomed.
So, if your ex left you because of financial pressures, the first step to getting her back is to start addressing your issues one at a time. If you have money problems, the last thing you want is to get into more money problems. What you need to do is start taking control of your financial life. Instead of buying a new car, sell your current car!
It’s all about setting priorities in your life. You have to decide whether to put your relationship and personal life first, or continue to be a slave to all the bills. Of course, getting one’s financial life in order is never easy. If you don’t think you can handle it on your own, be sure to seek some financial advice from a professional. This doesn’t have to cost you a penny. There are many free debt counseling services available to you – especially during these difficult economic times. Take advantage of them. Get some help creating a solid plan to start paying off your debt and start making more money.
Just taking the first step to bring your financial life under control can be a huge relief. You’ll immediately feel like you’ve finally done something positive to regain control of your life. When you start to take control of your finances, you start to reduce the pervasive stress that plagues you and makes your relationship a living hell. It is a sad fact of our modern society that even when two people love each other, pervasive financial pressures can weaken even a good relationship.
So let’s say you work hard, make tough decisions and start the process of getting into a more stable financial position – but at the same time, you still have this other Problem – your girlfriend is missing! It all seemed overwhelming, and it was! That’s why you have to take a deep breath and realize that the toughest problems don’t get solved easily or overnight, and they take place all day long.
That doesn’t mean you can’t start taking the first steps to repair your broken relationship and take action to get your ex back. It might not be a bad idea to communicate with your ex and tell her what you’re up to. Maybe write her a letter and tell her something like this:
“I know times are tough and we argue a lot about money. I don’t blame you for not wanting to live a life full of stress, always worrying about bills, or never having the money for us to go out and do anything fun. I really Think my money issues were a big factor in our breakup. Again, I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I just want you to know that I’m taking proactive steps to get control of my financial situation. I don’t want to encounter Money matters. I hope you will give me time to put myself in a better position. If I do, I really think our relationship will become special again. I hope you will give me time to adjust my boat, even Consider coming back to me when I’m in a better position and when we don’t have so many issues to worry about or argue about constantly…”
… or something similar.
Note that this is just an example of the kind of letter you might write to your ex-girlfriend. Note, however, that the information in our example is not begging or blaming. You just “blame yourself” and you don’t beg your girlfriend to come back to you. You just let her know that you still care here and that your life is changing positively because of her. You can’t lose this way. Many girls will be flattered that their ex-boyfriend cares enough about them to want to fundamentally change their lives and try to make the world a better place for both of you.
You may have to give it time, though. Money problems don’t disappear overnight. If you do have serious money problems, things might even get worse before they get better. But unless you get to the root of the problem and remove the financial stress from your life, it can be difficult to get your ex back. And even if she does come back, she may only leave again if the old money issue resurfaces.
If there’s one positive thing about a broken relationship, it’s that the difficult situation helps us reexamine our lives, identify what’s wrong, and compels us to improve our situation across the board. Taking control of money matters is one of the best things anyone can do—it sets the stage for a stable, happy relationship that will last forever.
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