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How to Be a Mother and a Best Friend

Can you be a best friend and mother to your child? I remember as a child going through that phase when I was not happy with my parents. I didn’t really talk to them about anything that was really going on in my life or share my feelings. As time passed, I truly found a best friend in my mother. What a gift this was for me! We would go so many places together like shopping, movies and at home we would watch TV together. How mad I was at myself for wasting so many years not taking care of her and sharing my life with her.

When I had my children, I promised myself that I would do everything possible to be not only a good mother, but also a best friend. My mother passed away at a young age by today’s standards and I was heartbroken thinking about time lost in my younger years. This would set the path I decided to follow and be to my children what my mother was to me, who was my best friend.

To understand and follow this concept of course parenting must come first. There still has to be discipline and rules. This does not mean that you always say yes to your child when they ask for something. This goes much deeper than your regular everyday family life. I did it to really listen to my kids, yes this can be trying at times especially now that I have my teenage daughter telling me things that almost have to make my eyes bulge out of my head. Ever since they were young, I made a point of going into their rooms and talking to them about their day, not just school work and what they were feeling at that time. When I said secrets yes for the most part I kept them unless it was something that really needed to be shared.

I made it a point to have time alone with them outside the house as often as possible. This could be a trip to the store or a meal, with just one of them, so they have me all to themselves and can talk freely. For my teenager I go to her room and have what we call “Pow Wow’s” where she can ask me anything and I do my best to answer her questions honestly. Now, her girlfriends come and I’m invited into the room for questions they have and are afraid to ask their own mothers. Gaining my daughter’s trust, we would continue to grow closer and closer. She knew I was someone she could come to and wouldn’t judge, but listen and actually help with expert advice. I also became the designated parent to do all the driving for them, sometimes at crazy hours I must add.

This is something I was lucky enough to start very early with my kids, this doesn’t mean it doesn’t work when they’re older, because I’m living proof that it does because I wasted so many years of time with my mother as mine. also a best friend. I just personally think that maybe it would have happened sooner if I had been more comfortable around her during those trying teenage years. The years go by very quickly and there is no better time than today to make the effort, take the necessary steps and choose to be a part of your child’s life, instead of watching them from outside their world. Of course remember, you are still the parent, but with faith, time and love you could possibly be their best friend too.

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