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Mindfulness Tips – Ways to Help You Enjoy This Summer – Non-Attachment

Last week, I suggested that you become aware of the beauty in the moment to help you have a good summer. Using the mindful technique of recognition, I suggested that you begin to observe your thoughts and feelings with curiosity rather than judgment as you develop a sense of non-attachment. In general, there is a tendency to interpret each moment through the lens of “old tapes” — using an internal chatter of commentary and criticism, to understand the situation. Often these “old tapes” are still the basis of your belief system. They are vague and false, have an underlying theme of inadequacy and cause distress. This week, when you hear these messages, stop and recognize them as “old tapes.” This will decrease the chatter and help you move into a non-attached position, whereby the emotions or experience become irrelevant.

Non-attachment is when you no longer adjust the interpretation but simply notice the situation and your feelings as they exist. You let go of judgment and logic and become less involved with the “what ifs” or “if onlys.” As you allow yourself to step back and be curious, you will discover that you have more inner resources and discover limitless possibilities. Life will throw you some curve balls this summer but resistance is a waste of your time and energy. Your babysitter will cancel at the last minute, your elderly parent might be hospitalized and your car might break down. As I write this article, I am recovering from foot surgery. My favorite expression is “if these are the cards I’ve been dealt, how do I want to play them?” The recovery requires me to stay home and keep my foot elevated while allowing others to help me. While the experience is difficult because I’m “playing the cards I’ve been dealt,” I’ve gained some wonderful insights. For example, I became aware of how much I have to be in control. While I will allow others to help me, I tend to be very critical if it is not done exactly as I wish. Today, because I was home alone to fend for myself, I had a greater appreciation for what it’s like to be disabled and the concessions that are made. The milk for my tea was slightly sour but it was just too much effort to get up and make a new cup. Practicing mindfulness, I noticed it, took a step back, and moved into acceptance as I drank it anyway.

True strength and resilience comes from gaining some distance when you become unattached and unconcerned with the particular situation. As you develop indifference to unhappiness or joy, you create more inner strength and possibilities. This week, I invite you to begin to bring non-attachment into your life. As you become aware of a situation or feeling, simply notice it and start looking at ways you can play the cards you’ve been dealt to move into the next stage, acceptance.

THIS WEEK: Take one difficult situation and look at it with “non-attachment, then allow yourself to “play the cards” you’ve been dealt.

“We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” Japanese Proverb

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