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Watering the Plant of Intimate Relationships

Today I want to talk about connection. It’s something we all want more of, and something that in today’s culture, many of us lack. We lack real connection with friends, family members and even those closest to us: our partners.

Our society doesn’t set us up to make connection a priority. Sure there are phones, text messages and social media, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a heart to heart connection that can only happen when the phones are put down and we can slow down enough to really take each other in.

If you have children, it only becomes more difficult to create the space to connect. But what happens when we don’t prioritize connection?

Our relationships are like plants that need proper nutrition to grow and no matter where they eventually die.

Lately I’ve been struggling with a relationship. My husband and I are the parents of a wonderful (and rambunctious) two-year-old boy. I have a coaching business and also teach at a university. My husband has his own demanding job. Sometimes it can feel like we just parent and pass like ships in the night.

What we’ve realized is that we need to make more time to slow down and connect — even if that means the blog post isn’t written or the house isn’t cleaned. It’s important to let go of perfection and make time to water the relationship.

Watering your relationship doesn’t have to look like going out to a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (although it can). It can also be about taking ten minutes at the end of a busy day to sit down next to each other, check in and have a few minutes of heart connection. It can be about taking the extra ten seconds to hug and kiss your partner goodbye, rather than rushing out the door and yelling, “Love, goodbye!”

When we make space for connection with our partners, everything becomes easier. The connection lightens our load and helps us remember that we don’t do it all alone. It helps us reconnect with what made us fall in love with this person in the first place. And it brings more lightness to the routine of daily life. It helps us connect to gratitude and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in a completely different way.

What is one action you can take this week to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it changes your perception and makes you feel fuller inside.

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