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When Learning Doesn’t Come Easy

From the moment we find out we are expecting a child, our minds and hearts overflow with hopes and dreams for them. My child is going to be the most beautiful, brilliant, talented person to ever walk the Earth, right? And they are that for each of us!

But sometimes, we discover that there is a “problem”. The last thing we want to admit is something is different or wrong with our child. It’s hard to do. Not that we love them any less! But let’s be honest, we’d rather sit around other moms and share how our 4-year-old can read a chapter book, do multiplication by age 6, and paint like Rembrandt by age 7. Not to mention, they’re also on their way to the Olympics in two different sports. Or at least it seems that way when you are the one who quietly listens to all the achievements of others!

So, let’s get a few things straight… Most likely those other moms are exaggerating a little! And there is nothing wrong with your child! Even if your child has a learning disability. She or he simply learns differently than the mainstream! And really, that’s kind of cool!

However, I didn’t always feel that way. After struggling to teach my daughter to read for 3 years with little progress, I was pretty frustrated and so was she. Every school session ended in tears and some days started in tears at the mere mention of reading. She always loved books and being read to and was excited to learn how to read on her own. So, why was it such a struggle? Was I just a bad teacher? Was she too easily distracted and not self-motivated enough?

We finally decided to do a test at age 7. I noticed a lot of letter and word flipping in reading and writing as well as in math. She complained of her head and eyes hurting when reading (and a vision test found she had 20/20 vision). I needed to know what was holding us back. I knew she was extremely intelligent in many ways, but we hit a brick wall. Since we homeschool, we decided to try her with a private therapist. It took 4 hours to complete and when we finished we said she has visual and auditory processing disorders.

I then went into mom research mode! And as I read and searched the internet and the library, I became more and more confused and overwhelmed! There didn’t seem to be any really helpful books or websites and the ones I found seemed to tell me different things! We did decide to go to vision therapy, which of course is not covered by insurance, are any of us surprised? But we felt it was worth a try and worth the money. In therapy, she worked on re-learning phonics using A Time for Phonics. We also did assigned therapy at home. After 6 months she was done and I could definitely see a huge improvement! We didn’t do hearing therapy with the therapist because of cost, but I did use a program called Earobics for home. I also found the book, The Out of Sync Child and When the Brain Can’t Hear, very helpful.

My search continued to find other ways to help her learn in a way that suited her learning styles. You see, processing disorders and dyslexia don’t have to be a roadblock! There are so many ways to learn. The point where I realized this was when I stumbled upon a book by Ben Foss, The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan. I encourage everyone to read it! Check out his website too! I kind of hate the word apartments. It sounds like you need extra or special help, like you’re allowed to cheat. Don’t be ashamed to learn in a different way. Find out what your child’s strengths are and capitalize on those skills. Don’t focus on the standard way most children are taught to read. I was so incredibly grateful that we chose to homeschool because my daughter didn’t have to compare herself to others or be labeled in any way. But even if your child is in a public or private school, remember that your child is not broken, but the system may be. Advocate for your child to have the resources they need to excel and feel connected.

What resources can you use? Oh, there are so many! This is where I got overwhelmed! I will list some of the resources that I felt were the best. But look around more and explore the options available!

-Audiobooks are your friend! Don’t be late because you can’t read the material fast enough! If your child learns well by listening, try Audible. Amazon also has audiobooks and so does your local library.

-Reading focus card. You can make your own or buy one. Also try printing your pages on yellow paper, or try other colors besides the usual white.

-Use a text-to-speech app like Speak It or Talk to Me, as well as a speech-to-text app like Dragon Dictation. Another helpful app is Prizmo, users can scan in any type of text document and have the program read it out loud, which can be a big help to those who struggle with reading.

-I love Snapwords for learning web words! There’s also an app for Snapwords now!

-Fonts and background colors: Software that is regularly used in schools, such as Microsoft Word, is a good resource for fonts and background colors. Changing the background color to green, for example, can help with reading as can wearing green glasses. Fonts can also enable reading and comprehension; teachers can download free special fonts, such as OpenDyslexic, which are free and can run on Microsoft software.

-All About Spelling, this curriculum is great for all kids but the multi-sensory approach based on the Orton-Gillingham methods clicked with my daughter! We haven’t tried All About Reading but I’d bet it’s a good option.

-We used Rocket Phonics after we finished vision therapy. It was developed by a dyslexic man, and it’s fun! There are lots of games involved and interesting stories to read, not the usual boring books that are your typical easy read.

-Math was a struggle for us as was reading. Memorizing facts is a challenge. I found a math program that uses learning by association, using a fact and process mnemonic called Semple Math.

-Get in HANDS! Use clay, paints, blocks, magnets, etc. to practice letters, spelling and sounds. Learn to write letters correctly first in sand with an index finger, then move on to writing with a pencil. Make it FUN! Use all your senses!

– Play games! Some we have used and enjoy are Sum Swamp, What’s Gnu?, Scrabble, Very Silly Sentences, Boggle Jr. even card games like addition war (put two cards each and add together), or Alphabet Go Fish (you have to say the letter sounds), search Pinterest and the internet for fun games to practice math facts and letter sounds or spelling and sight words. Even if your child is older, there are hands on ideas that are fun and multi-sensory

Moms (and Dads), my intention in writing this is to give you some starting points. And to let you know you are not alone! I know it can be disappointing at first to learn that your child is struggling in some way. But it can also feel like a weight has been lifted to know how your child is learning and that there are ways to help and empower your little one. I know if you are in a school setting you will have to explain to your child why they can go to a special class or take tests differently than the other kids. You have to trust yourself to know how to talk to your child. There are books for children that talk about dyslexia and learning issues in a positive light such as Thank You, Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco, The Alphabet War by Diane Robb, and for older children May B by Caroline Rose or Niagra Falls, Or. Is It? By Henry Winkler (yes, Fonzie from Happy Days!)

Try to emphasize his/her strengths and affinities and not simply focus on his/her weaknesses and difficulties. Remind your child that he/she can learn but that he/she learns in a unique way, and that’s okay! We are all unique and have our own strengths and weaknesses. Love your child for who they are and hopefully, they will find the right tools to elevate learning!

I never thought I would see the day when my daughter’s favorite activity was reading! Chin up, keep plugging away, lighten up and have fun with it, and love them no matter what!

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