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Discipline Starts at Home
Modern Western families do not, as a norm, teach self-discipline to their children. External discipline, that forcibly administered by parents and society, does not always translate into self-discipline. We could certainly learn from Asian families, especially Chinese and Japanese; their children behave wonderfully in our American schools.
Parents may wonder, quite reasonably, why so many children do not follow the disciplinary values they have learned at home. There are several causes that we can find not only at home, television is big, but also throughout our modern society. Traditional values are usually interpreted by younger generations as old-fashioned and obsolete. Young parents protest: “We must try to understand our children, we must be better than our own parents.”
This pseudo-scientific attitude, not supported by hard evidence, has caused the American family (in general) to condone or turn a blind eye to petty delinquent behavior in young children. This philosophy began with the baby boom generation after WWII. As a result, today’s students have relaxed their standards, their values, and this prohibitive behavior is partly responsible for our current economic problems.
Our societal model of greed and lack of responsibility has given birth to fraudulent financial instruments, outright lies by real estate agents and sleazy accounting procedures. Corruption is rampant among Washington politicians and lobbyists, a factor multiplied by the self-interest (egoism) of high-ranking bureaucrats who believe that public interest always comes last.
As a high school teacher, I see firsthand the consequences of a “let him/her grow into his/her own” attitude of parents. They interpret every misstep as “a child searching for his/her identity”. Interrupting this process amounts to sacrilege, to a violation of humanist principles, which assume that man is born good. According to this philosophy, society is the villain that makes us “bad”.
As I walked into the classroom, I saw papers scattered on the floor. I asked the student sitting at that desk to take them. His response was a typical “I didn’t do it”. The very notion that someone else is responsible allows me to give up all my values of helping the community. Someone else will do it; we don’t know who that other person is, but it’s definitely not me. That same day, I watched an Asian teacher take a beating in the hallway in front of her classroom. Other teachers usually don’t mind.
This lack of altruism or consideration for the social group is general in some groups; many teenagers devote their free time to drinking and carousing. Others, too few unfortunately, are happy to spend their free hours helping others, sometimes people they don’t even know, like African children who lack everything. Am I just an old-fashioned, grumpy, old man, or is there some truth in my nostalgia for self-discipline?
Parents: Small, “innocent” acts of delinquency can flourish and become full-blown assaults on our social fabric. I do not recommend martial law within the home, nor do I favor corporal punishment unless it is absolutely necessary (repeated disobedience). A few well-placed pats on the rear will hurt pride more than flesh, and the message will be received loud and clear. Early severe intervention will stimulate self-discipline, as children will eventually assimilate the idea that they are responsible for their own behavior and for the well-being of society in general.
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