What Baby Food Can I Give My 5 Month Old Permissive Parenting – A Spirited Child – Does Your Child Rule the Roost?

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Permissive Parenting – A Spirited Child – Does Your Child Rule the Roost?

There are really many approaches to parenting. Most of us raising children now grew up with authoritarian parents, you know “do what I say and not what I do” and “because I said so, therefore” type of parenting.

As new parents we remember those years of frustration at what we thought was thoughtless parenting. As adults, we read all the parenting books, we subscribe to the parenting magazines, we want to be the best parents we can be. We are organic, natural – alive, flexible and easy. What is not to worship? We will show the world (and our own parents) that parenting means peaceful, loving kindness and that we have all the answers, before we have children.

A child is coming, maybe even a few. If you have a calm hardy baby, he will easily fit into the normal parenting boxes that all the books talk about, and permissive parenting works quite well. Positive Parenting books will give you wonderful examples to support and that work perfectly with obedient children.

But what about the brave child? What about the rebel who seems adamant about pulling out every hair on your head? The kid makes you ask ‘what did I do wrong’ because it’s so hard. You never thought parenting could be so hard, and sometimes you feel like you want to run away and hide from it all. You may be in tears every day and you can ask God ‘why?’ You never signed up for this!

You can’t see any parenting errors. You are a wonderful parent, letting Johnny have his freedom and think independently as humans should. You give explanations for everything you do to live democratically; and yet you feel that your child’s energy could overtake you at any moment. He drags you around stores and around play dates. You are ragged, you are at your wits end and you want things to be different. But where are the real answers? How are things changing?

If it seems like I’m speaking from experience, I am.

I knew it when he was six months old. This was no ordinary baby. I knew this when I was called into the principal’s office day after day on a short shift in Kindergarten. I knew it when I held a constant slight fear in my heart about how my child would act around family and in public. Would he decide to listen today? Could I ‘manage’ him today?

Once you get into the habit of what I call Loving Discipline Parenting, your family will be transformed. At some point, having a natural tendency to be permissive (due to your flexible personality), you will have to realize that a healthy parent-child relationship means having a strong sense of personal power. If your child is brave, you can certainly see that he has no problem with his own sense of personal power, so why should you? Spiritual children can teach us a lot.

My journey to a peaceful, low-stress home was a long one. But we arrived. After I started implementing the basic tenets of Loving Discipline Parenting, life turned around 180 degrees and everyone is happy now. Our family bond has never been tighter and we love every day. I will share some of the basic aspects of Loving Discipline Parenting with you now.

1. Redefine your idea of ​​who you think your child is. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you think about your child becomes the role he plays. Think about and describe your relationship with your child honestly. Let it all out. It’s okay for things NOT to be okay. We must acknowledge the current situation in order for the healing to begin. Now start thinking about what results you want to see happen. Keep that image in your mind as you continue to implement new ways of parenting. Describe your child only in positive terms to others, and start looking at the positive aspects of your child’s character. This begins to set the standard for your new relationship with your child. I’m surprised at how often I see parents unknowingly (perhaps) commenting on how difficult their kids are right in front of their kids. What message do you think that is sending the child? Children will not be disappointed. Change the way you look at your child and your relationship with your child, and you will then see the changes.

2. Set boundaries and stick to them. This is especially hard for those of us parents who are so open and free-spirited. We don’t like boundaries ourselves, why would we push them on our children? Indeed, children desperately need boundaries. In order for them to feel safe, they need to know that you are ultimately in control. They need to know that they can depend on your step and intervention to stand up for something. What are you defending with a laissez-faire attitude? You need to show an example of a strong sense of self so that your child understands the true meaning of this.

3. Give your child responsibilities. For us, that meant an accountability chart for beginners, for the whole family, not just kids. We have now left that and my children understand that we are a community, a family living together and everyone must join and help for the well-being of the community. Giving children responsibilities fosters growth and maturity. Children, no matter how much they cry, are then able to understand the value in a hard day’s work. Teach them the value of helping family and community. Helping the family is expected and required. No buts.

4. Get rid of the food dyes and unhealthy waste products. I cannot stress this enough. Many children have behavioral reactions to food dyes and preservatives. You may not be aware of it especially if your child tends to eat these types of foods every day. You may think that your child has a personality problem and is rebellious or refuses to listen. Food dyes and preservatives have been closely linked with ADHD symptoms. Watery eyes, inattention, lack of focus or concentration: these are all related to food coloring and preservative allergic reactions. My son has made tremendous strides with eliminating these alone.

5. For every fault you find in your child, find its opposite (eg how can persistence be helpful in the real world?) When we are frustrated, we tend to see more negatives than positives, even if we are generally positive people Realize that this special child you have will help you grow spiritually and emotionally if you allow that growth to happen.

6. Just as you respect others, demand to be respected and for your child to respect others as well. This includes communication, word choices, listening to each other, respect for others welfare and property. You don’t have to give up on this one. Children who disrespect their parents and others many times end up in very bad situations.

7. Sit down and talk with your child – Explain the changes Your child will need an honest explanation of the changes that will take place. Your child is smart. He knows things are out of control, he feels it and yet he has no idea how to make things better. He has long felt rejection in one form or another from others and even from you (those frustrated looks, those tears, those sighs). You and your child are a team, there is a lot of love deep down and you will get through this. Your relationship will be improved and life will be much better for everyone. Let your child know exactly what changes are going to happen and that it’s because we’re trying something new to make everyone happy.

8. Know that once the novelty wears off, you must continue with your consistency. Parenting is like that. If you give up and go back to your permissive ways of being, life will go back to being the way it was. Your child will return to feeling out of control, and so will you. Just like healthy eating, new habits must be consistently maintained to get real lasting benefit. But the good news is that you start over permanently. Kids will get angry, they might say things that hurt you.. but as long as you continue to use loving disciplined parenting, things will calm down and turn into the family life you’ve only ever dreamed of.

9. Respect comes naturally from a close, loving bond. If you currently do not have a close bond with your child, there is probably a lack of respect as well. Get emotionally close to your child and you will see that suddenly your child is eager to do things you ask of him and is happy to help you and listen to you. He does this because he loves the closeness with you, and we naturally want those we love to be happy. Bonding with your child includes things like reading stories together every day (no matter what age), sharing experiences and retelling past experiences, being genuinely interested in what your child is doing and where his interests lie, and taking his feelings and thoughts into consideration ( but don’t let that control you).

10. Make your family and your children’s education the highest priority in your life. Parenting can be by default or it can be a fulfilling journey to truly know yourself. You want the latter. Why let this opportunity of personal growth and enrichment pass you by? Keeping an emotionally healthy family at the center of your life is actually balancing your life, improving the meaning of life and your own well-being. Involvement in your child’s education is at the heart of parenting. Do not shy away from your responsibility as a guide and educator.

Loving Kindness Parenting means that you allow freedom for your child, but your child respects the freedom of others, including your own. You are not a slave to your child’s desires just as he is not a slave to yours. Your child should be as respectful to you as you are to him. Kids will test sometimes and you have to get down to their level (literally) look them straight in the eye and calmly tell them “I don’t talk to you like that, please don’t talk to me like that. .” The best thing you can do when emotions run high is to lower your voice, even to almost a whisper. You stay calm and speak calmly. This does not mean that you lack power in your voice with what you say. You have to show power… but you speak quietly. This calms emotions and lets your child know that you are very comfortable with your own sense of inner strength and you don’t have to shout over him to know that you are heard. It is an invaluable tool that has served me well from Maria Montesorri’s methods. It’s a staple in my life.

By taking these simple steps, you will see drastic changes in your relationship with your child and your child’s behavior. However, you should stick with these methods. Part of the addition to permissive parenting is exactly NOT sticking with any rigor. That is the one thing that must change in order for your situation to change. You may be afraid of making bad choices and hurting your child in some unknown way. We all make mistakes; it’s the nature of parenting. But the result is nowhere near as catastrophic as children without boundaries and miserable, tired, exhausted parents who are on the verge of giving up in despair. Ultimately, you are responsible for your child and your child’s well-being. If your child is out of control, he doesn’t feel safe or loved. Lovingly enforced rules and boundaries do help a child know that he is loved and deeply cared for. You don’t have to have all the answers, but kids respect people who have convictions (even when those convictions aren’t always right) over people who are wishy-washy. So gather that inner strength my friend and stand up. Be that proud, loving, gentle but firm parent who is a true educator! This is your life and you deserve to enjoy parenthood for the joy it can truly be. Why suffer when the answers are right here in front of you?

In Joyful parenting, Mellisa Dormoy

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