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Tips on How to Choose a Thoughtful Sympathy Gift

The grieving process can be as unique as a fingerprint. Each person brings to the journey their individual personality, their connection with the deceased person, their religious/spiritual beliefs, their feelings about death and their life experiences. When it comes to choosing a thoughtful sympathetic gift, one size does not fit all.

Finding the perfect sympathy gift to express your deep concern and provide the recipient with a lasting gift that honors the memory of their loved one is not an easy task but not impossible.

As you consider what might be a suitable sympathy gift for your loved one, here are some things to consider:

1. What are their religious beliefs? If they are religious, take a few minutes to consider the customs and norms of their religion. Some religions have specific beliefs about giving gifts after the death of a loved one. If they are not religious, be sure to stay away from religious gifts that may offend them. Remember, this is a time to be helpful, not a time to push your own belief system.

Gift idea: I received a beautiful Angel with a candle that includes Psalm 27: 1 – The Lord is My Light and Salvation. This Angel sits by my bed and I am reminded that I am not alone through life.

2. What are the circumstances? The cause of death and the significance of the relationship between your friend and the deceased are important factors to consider when choosing a sympathy gift.

Gift Idea: A friend who has lost a pet may appreciate a stepping stone with the animal’s name on it to place in their garden. A mother grieving the loss of her child may welcome a thoughtful journal and a personalized memory box with the child’s name inscribed. Sending flowers and being a good listener to a husband whose wife has been murdered may be the best way to offer your support.

3. What is their age? Grandma might want a different kind of gift than a friend in their twenties.

Gift Idea: When my mother passed away, a good friend gave me a Calvin & Hobbs comic book. Life was so heavy at the time that having something that made me laugh was just what I needed. I was 25 when mine passed away and for me it was the perfect gift.

4. What is their gender? Gender plays a large role in the type of gift that is appropriate. A male friend can enjoy golf with you much more than a candle or jewelry.

5. What do they enjoy? Try to find activities that bring them joy and help them reconnect with life. A relaxing day at the spa, a pleasant afternoon at a baseball game or a pleasant afternoon tea are just a few of the gifts you can share with your loved one.

Gift Idea: A few weeks after my mom passed away, my friends took me on a trip to Disneyland. What a wonderful gift this has been to help bring joy back into my life.

6. Do they have allergies or dietary restrictions? When choosing a food gift basket or if bringing food to the family, be sure to check if they have food allergies or are on a restrictive diet. You don’t want to buy a bottle of wine for someone who doesn’t drink. Or bring peanut butter cookies to someone who is allergic to peanuts.

Gift idea: Don’t have time to cook, Sympathy Food can provide a complete nutritious meal to a bereaved family.

7. Do they have pictures in their home or albums? If your friend enjoys displaying memories in their home, a personalized picture frame or decorative scrapbook in which they can keep memories can be a favorite gift.

8. What type of book will reach them? If you choose a book, consider the stage of grief your friend is in. The first few months after a loss can be extremely difficult and it may be difficult to concentrate. Books that are easy to digest and provide coping skills of people in similar situations can be best.

Gift idea: I received a very meaningful, yet simple book after my mother passed away called “How to Survive the Loss of Love”.

9. Think outside the box. Gifts don’t need to be traditional; they can be as unique as your imagination.

Gift idea: When my friend Dan passed away, I couldn’t afford the last minute plane ticket to attend the funeral. A mental friend paid for my ticket with his frequent flyer miles.

10. Offer your support. Some people don’t need or want trinkets, books or movies; they just want a friend who will be there with a listening ear, a hug and a warm heart.

Buying a special gift basket, inspirational book, personalized picture frame, memorial ornament, or sending flowers to a grieving loved one can brighten their day and lift their spirits during a difficult time.

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