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How To Tame Your Toddler’s Bossy Behavior

Adults have a natural sense of self-awareness that keeps our behavior under control most of the time, but small children and toddlers have yet to develop this social skill and as a result will typically end up exhibiting negative behavior.

It’s not unusual for even the best-behaved 3-year-olds to exhibit over-the-top tendencies, leaving some parents perplexed and irritated.

Bossiness in a young child can also be caused by the sense of authority it can give them in a world where adults have all the control. They won’t do it consciously, but it’s a behavioral instinct that guides them and that eventually does, making them feel like they’re getting some of that power back. This does not mean that we, as parents, will not be able to control this, however.

How to Control Your Children’s Bossy Behavior

Imitation

Children have very "monkey see, monkey do" attitude to life, so the first thing you can do to change their behavior is to first modify yours. This might mean bringing your own boss back a little. So when you’re around your kids, try to use the type of behavior you’d like them to emulate. Even when you don’t talk to them, they will still pick up on the way you act and ask people to do something.

Even when it’s in YOUR nature to be like this, try to be aware of it and when your kids are around, try to change your own behavior so that your little ones see a kinder side of you.

Social Skills

Another simple idea, but often difficult to implement, is to teach them good social skills. Teach them to share from a young age. If they start being selfish, or being mean to people, try asking them how they would feel if someone did the same to them. Having them think about how their behavior affects other people is a key milestone in their growth.

Give Control

Bossiness is a form of control, so when your child perceives that they don’t have it, they will try and take it. But suppose you gave them some control? When you ask your child if they would like spuds or peas with their fishcakes, or if they want to watch some cartoons or play with their transformers for a while, you are putting some control in their hands.

The secret to using this approach is to ask closed questions, so instead "what do you want to do today"you ask "would you like to go to the park today or watch some cartoons?". This gives them a sense of control and they will believe that they have had a say in the outcome of their day and THIS will result in not so much needing to take control of other people in the form of domineering behavior later on. .

Be careful

Quite often, a child’s bossy or unpleasant behavior is no more than a plea for attention, so take a real look at how much you give them every day. Take an honest look at whether you’re enjoying enough time playing and talking with them before you yell at them for pulling your arm out to go play in the yard when all you choose to do is stand around drinking beer with your friends.

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