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Deciding How Much Time a Toddler Should Spend in Preschool

I received an email from the father of three who is struggling to choose between sending his three-year-old daughter to school for three days or five. With a six-year-old going to the same school his daughter will attend, it will be convenient to take both children every weekday. Having a two-year-old at home also means that it would be easier to have the two older siblings out of the house every day.

However, five days just feels like too much school for this dad, and he wonders if three would be better. This is what I told him:

I love that you care so much about doing the “right” thing, but I will tell you right now that whatever decision you make, it will probably be the right one – and the best part is that nothing is irrevocable on the off chance that it doesn’t. to work I would weigh two factors equally. First, your daughter’s temperament. If she is a fluent type of child, she will probably thrive whether she goes 3 days or 5 days. The second factor is the well-being of your spouse. If she is not ready to give up her time with your daughter and she would like to spend those two days with her, that is really important.

On the other hand, if the baby is keeping your wife busy and it will be difficult for her to keep both girls busy in a really positive way, five days might be a better option for the family. The fact that your son will be in the same school will make the transition even easier for his sister, knowing that her big brother is in the building if she needs some reassurance.

The bottom line is that you can start putting her down after five days and see how she does. Give it a few weeks before pulling the plug though. If after three weeks she seems irritable or overwhelmed, take her back up to 3 days. In my opinion the decision is less about age than the temperament of the child and the needs of the family.

The last thing I will tell you is that although this decision is very important right now, and I admire your research in trying to do the right thing, whatever you decide will not affect your daughter in the long run. Children adapt. The school you choose is more important than the amount of time she spends there.

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