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How to Stop Their Child From Crying in 30 Seconds Or Less

Have you ever been in a restaurant, and your child wanted what your other child got? Your other child wouldn’t share, and suddenly your 2-year-old started screaming? No matter how hard you tried, he or she would not calm down. How about you were working on something important, and suddenly your child started screaming? The children were fighting over a toy, and one of them screamed his head off. If you have ever felt this way, I am here to tell you that I have found the solution to your problem.

Being a mother of 3, I have felt this way many times, and always wished I could have a solution to calm the child down in 30 seconds or less. That way everyone can move on, and I don’t need to stress, or stress, or cry.

My first question to all parents is why do children cry? There are many reasons why a child cries. I will list briefly what some of those reasons are: hunger, fear, someone has hurt them, they want something, or are simply trying to get attention. Have you ever been in a situation where you have a 2-7 year old and something happens, and they start crying so loud? Crying uncontrollably? As if someone tried to kidnap them, but nothing happened to them. To the child it feels as if their world is falling apart. However, most parents think that ignoring the problem is the solution, but it is not. I have stated what some doctors have to say about it, after extensive research done on crying children.”

“One study showed that infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded that these findings may be due to the parents’ lack of responsiveness to their parents. babies.” (Wolke, D, et al, Persistent Infant Crying and Hyperactivity Problems in Middle Childhood, Pediatrics, 2002; 109:1054-1060.)

“Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University have shown in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in babies causes increased blood pressure in the brain, raises stress hormones, prevents blood from flowing out of the brain and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers must respond to calls quickly, consistently, and comprehensively.” (J pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University. Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21 (2): 29-36)

Because of all these factors and many more, I decided to find a solution to the problem that many parents face.

What is the new technique? Well, reading many books in this field, studying child psychology and going to many seminars still sometimes does not equip you for what real life throws at you. With amazement one day, I told myself that I had to figure out how to calm these children down quickly and efficiently. Because I am a stay at home, who homeschools, and works from home. I couldn’t have them crying all day if I taught the others, or if I started cleaning. However, I don’t have time to sit with each one for 10-15 minutes at a time. That alone took up most of my time. This is when I tried and tested my new strategy. I thought if it worked for me than it could work for anyone. are you ready

Basically, whenever a child starts crying for whatever reason it is:

1. You take a deep breath and then bring them closer to you, and then go through these exercises with them.
2. You show them how to breathe deeply. As they take one, take another, and then another. I usually take 4-5 deep breaths with them, and then I say ok, now we’re going to do it this way.
3. I start blowing out faster and faster and laugh as I do it. They love this part the most. They blow and smile and laugh with me. It changes their whole mood, and they don’t cry anymore.
4. After they have calmed down, then I sit them on my lap and ask them what happened. By this time, their smile and they have to use a normal tone, not a crying tone to tell me what happened.
5. After they tell me, then I help them figure out what went wrong, and what not to do again, to get that kind of reaction. They agree, and it’s finally over. I break the pattern they are in with a whole new pattern that helps them calm themselves.

I have used this technique not only on my children, but also my neighbor’s children, nieces and nephews. Their ages ranged from 2-7 years. It worked every time for me. It just takes a little patience, time and practice. You will see eventually that the kids will do these techniques to other kids they see behaving the way they did. My son and daughter sometimes teach me these techniques if I’m sad and crying. It really works for adults as well as children. You only need 30 seconds to implement it, and then they are on their way.

Once you can get your child to learn these new habits, you then teach them that whining and whining doesn’t really help them get what they want. If they want something, they have to ask for it kindly, and if it’s something the parent thinks the child needs, they’ll get it, if it’s not, then they have to understand that the parent knows best. The more the parent is able to explain to the child, the better the child understands. Sometimes it takes 10 – 20 times of repetition, but eventually it sinks in. Also at this time I talk to the other kid about how they handled this one. If there are two or three of them, then after this child is relaxed, I go and tell the others what they did was wrong, and that is not how we should handle this situation. I then give them an example of how I would handle this situation. This way they are aware that there are many ways to handle a situation. I want the children to put that in their memory banks of their brains, and use it when this or another similar situation arises.

Some more quotes about why crying is not good for a child to continue

• “Letting a baby cry evokes physiological responses that increase stress hormones. Crying babies experience an increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure. These reactions are likely to result in overheating and, along with vomiting due to extreme distress, could pose a possible risk of SIDS in vulnerable babies. It can also have longer-term emotional effects. There is compelling evidence that increased levels of stress hormones can cause permanent changes in the stress responses of the baby’s developing brain. These changes then affect memory, attention, and emotion, and can trigger an elevated response to stress during life, including predisposition to later anxiety and depressive disorders.” Pinky McKay

Pinky McKay is the mother of five, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and Certified Infant Massage Instructor.

• English psychotherapist, Sue Gerhardt, author of Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain, “explains that when a baby is upset, the hypothalamus produces cortisol. In normal amounts cortisol is fine, but if a baby is exposed for too long. or too often to stressful situations (like letting cry) its brain becomes flooded with cortisol and it will then either over or under produce cortisol when the child is exposed to stress. Too much cortisol is linked to depression and fear; too little to emotional detachment and aggression. “

For now I’d like to get into a summary of how this all works:

• First, take a deep breath into yourself.
• Next, bring the crying child and teach them how to breathe deeply, tell them to follow you. Take about 4-5 Deep Breaths.
• Third, blow them back to back for another 10 seconds. At this time, the child should laugh out loud with you.
• Fourth, now you have broken their pattern of crying to be happy.
• Ask what happened, and help them understand.

This is essential to break the pattern. Once the pattern is broken and something better takes its place, then it won’t be long before you notice that they are crying less and less. As they get older they will realize that crying should be left for something really painful and not every two minutes. As parents and educators we must teach them to learn that there are different styles and ways of doing things. We need them to be able to help them calm themselves, and for them to form that habit as they grow up. To be confident, and to deal with any situation that comes their way with a different approach. This approach will lower their stress and build their confidence. The less they cry, and the more they are loved, the more stability these children will have with their own emotions.

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