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Frumpy – "A Woman Regarded As Dull, Plain, Or Unfashionable"
As a mother of a 22-year-old, I’m at that stage in my life when certain styles just aren’t attractive or appropriate anymore. My two biggest fears are looking like my mother and looking like my daughter.
Elegant, mature women follow the main trends while staying in their own look. As we move forward, we must redefine what constitutes an updated look and let go of old-fashioned ideas, but there is a fine line between looking current and looking like a fashion victim. Everyone has a different idea of what fumpy is. As with most things in my life, I figure out what works for me by eliminating what is wrong. These are on my “no-no” list:
- Wearing your pants too short – this is a look killer I see a lot. The modern way to wear pants is very long almost brush or brush the floor.
- Wearing fitted blouses and tops – this one is hard for me to resist because I love my belts! Untucked tailored shirts and (layered) shirts look modern. If you choose to tuck in and wear a belt, don’t do it the old-fashioned way–mom jeans that sit at the waist and taper at the ankle with a 1″ belt juck! Pants that rest 1″ below the waist are flattering on most of us and a wider waistband (about 2″) is slimming.
- Dressing too “matchy-matchy” – this is hard for women of my generation because when we were growing up, the perfect outfit was a plaid skirt picked off the rack with coordinating sweaters and finished off with matching Papagallo shoes and purse. It’s just not that easy anymore. The women who still subscribe to this method of dressing wear a “look” from head to toe by one designer. Boring! It takes some creativity, but basically you want to mix palettes and textures. Look at color combinations in magazines and in stores to stay up to date. You may see color combinations that you never thought of as “going” together and they look modern and chic. Even the simplest outfit can look great by mixing textures; think cloud wool with velvet or linen with silk. If this is very uncomfortable territory for you, wear suits but upgrade them with shoes and tops
- Wearing sleeveless tops and dresses without the benefit of regular exercise-when I attended my daughter’s high school graduation on a sultry June day, I saw lots and lots of flabby arms; I was thankful for my Total Gym! I don’t mean you have to work out, but if you’re not blessed with toned arms, wear short or long sleeves.
- Trying to look too pulled together – if your clothes are sophisticated and impeccable, tone down the hair and makeup – that’s a modern look. And in a similar vein…
- Wearing too much makeup-this is especially important as we get older. Go for a polished look in neutral colors for the day and amp it up a bit with color or a heavier application at night
- Wearing too little makeup-I don’t go anywhere without mascara, blush and lip gloss as a minimum. Most days I add a taupe eyeshadow and a dark brown liner and a little brow tamer. It takes 5 minutes and makes a world of difference!
- Looking totally not-put-together-when I see women at the mall in sweats or shorts and a baggy t-shirt, I wonder why they’re shopping if that’s how they leave the house. Even when you’re just wearing jeans, you can look pulled together by paying attention to your shoes and other accessories. Or, throw a jacket over almost anything and look instantly put together
- Buying a dress for “special” for special occasions – of course there are certain functions, for example if you are the mother of the bride, when you have to buy a special dress. But for most semi-formal occasions it’s more chic to gather a wardrobe of chic separates – silk trousers, blouses and skirts, velvet skirts and jackets, dressy cashmere sweaters, embellished jackets and maybe a tuxedo to mix and match. It makes more sense, even if you don’t dress often because you can update your pieces one at a time
- Old fashioned glasses glasses are a fashion accessory and if you have to wear them, you might as well keep them updated. It’s worth the money when you consider cost per wear!
- Wearing too much “jewelry” – I’m not into costume jewelry, I’d rather have a few pieces that reflect my personality and that I’ll love forever. Make one thing your focus, if you wear too many pieces it’s distracting
- Wearing unflattering silhouettes – there are certain clothes that are not suitable for certain body types. No one can avoid this, even what we consider a model body cannot wear every style. Sometimes it’s easier for a good friend to point out what isn’t working for you; it is very difficult to see yourself without prejudice. If you’re going to spend the time and effort to wear nice clothes, be a good editor and stay away from what doesn’t work for you. This has nothing to do with size!
- Wearing “cheap” clothes-when I shop with my daughters at stores like H&M and Forever 21, I’m tempted by the price tags, but cheap clothes look really bad on mature women. Again, I’d rather have 10 things I love than 30 things that are so-so
- College hair- if you’re still wearing your hair the way you did when you were 19 and you’re over 40, it’s time for a change. And if you got the cut of the moment – the “Dorothy Hamill”, the “Rachel” – and you still have it, it’s time to change. Trendy hairstyles are just that, they are constantly updated
- Lady suits and small earrings-I know when women see this look with the “new” Chanel style suits and dresses they think, this is a look I can relate to. The point is, this is a look for young women—it looks hip on them. As they say, if you wore it the first time, think hard about wearing it again. Simple, structured suits with a curve to the avant-garde look much more stylish for us over 40s.
I find that when I follow these guidelines, it narrows down my options, making it easier to put together stylish, timeless outfits.
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