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How To Help Your Toddler Adjust To New Baby

Bring back the Bottles

Right after the baby is born your toddler may regress asking for a bottle or suddenly having to wear diapers again. My advice: Go with the flow. You won’t destroy your toddler’s development by letting him have a bottle occasionally. (I wouldn’t ask him if he wanted a bottle like the baby, but I wouldn’t refuse to give him one if he asked.)

Don’t go overboard with the familiar homily, “You’re the big girl (or boy) now.” You will see that your child often feels like a baby and wants to be treated like one too. When your child gets on all fours, try to acknowledge these feelings. “Sometimes you want to be a baby, sometimes you don’t. I love you either way.”

Again, this is not the time to push your child to grow up. I wouldn’t try to wean her off bottles or diapers in the first few months of the baby’s life. If you want to move your toddler out of her baby, plan to do it a few months before the baby comes.

How to “Ooh” and “Ah”

A perfect time to cuddle and cuddle with your adorable newborn is when you’re changing his diapers. After all, isn’t this the easiest and most natural time to be loved with your baby? (Especially now that he’s on the changing table, about two feet taller than your toddler!)

Sometimes your toddler will look on with delight, other times she’ll be in a jealous rage. Although it can be difficult for a two-year-old to see his parents kiss the new baby, you don’t want to show the baby your love only at the 2 o’clock feeding. It is also important for your child to see (although not twenty-four hours a day) that you love the baby and respond to his needs. A toddler can become insecure about her parents’ love for her if she never sees them love her siblings.

News report of the Hour

Whatever happens in your home should usually be reported to the child. Toddlers have internal antennae, and they believe they are the cause of everything from illness to bad moods. It helps to explain and then reassure that most things in the family have nothing to do with them. For example, if the baby has a fever and the parents haven’t slept all night, now is the time to say, “Mom and Dad are feeling a little tired today because the baby is a little sick. Nobody makes anyone sick. You didn’t make the baby sick.”

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