What To Do When Your Six-Year-Old Catches You Having Sex Lesbian Flirting Tips! The Truth!

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Lesbian Flirting Tips! The Truth!

I’m by far the worst person at picking up chicks, but you know what they say “those who can’t teach.” So here I am caught in my evasive behavior by a stranger no doubt, someone who stumbled upon something I wrote and immediately realized I was living in the shadow of “catch fear”.

It’s funny that most people think I’m confident, they see me laughing, loud and joking and they assume it’s easy for “apparently” outgoing people to pick up. Well, the reality, as many of you may know, is that looks are often not the depth of a person, and when you begin to peel back the layers, you find that beneath the shiny entertaining exterior lies shyness, insecurity, fears and maybe even worthless

I was a really ugly kid, seriously, I had big thick glasses, braces (the whole headgear), really tall, curly and long curly hair always in my face. I wasn’t much to look at and with that came the avoidance of people; the bullying I received during my time at French school didn’t help either. By the time I reached high school, my braces were removed, contacts were inserted, hair was pulled back, and that little French accent got me whatever I wanted in South African school.

Yes indeed! I went from being nothing to something different, and never had to or really wanted to learn to catch someone. Also, being a big fat lesbian didn’t help because I had little interest in boys but I wanted to play and be friends with them which seemed to make them more interested so it also cut the challenge of learning.

So here I am in my thirties, sitting at a bar with my best friend without a clue in the world how I’m going to show Tann (the reader I won’t soon forget!) that she’s wrong.

Well needless to say it was an absolute train wreck, but I learned some important tips on flirting and picking up women.

Here’s nothing:

You have to have courage and not the liquid type because that just makes you stupid. Believe in yourself that there is something wonderful that is worth sharing with a woman you are attracted too.

“Nothing ventured, Nothing gained,” I’m such a true believer in this one. After working so hard in my education and related areas, I realized that if you don’t try to fight for something, you won’t get ANYTHING!

This is a big, “Don’t second guess the attention!” I’m terrible at it, I see someone staring and I automatically think something is on my face. I think they can’t look at me, it has to be the person behind me, or they are repulsed and can’t stop looking at the weirdness. If you suffer from this disturbing belief, then get an elastic band around your wrist and every time you have that thought, give yourself a little nudge (WARNING: pain will be involved, for those who go out on this, you need to try something else because it is not supposed to be a reward!)

Have a positive attitude about flirting and be open to the possibilities. Going into a situation with the “nothing will come of this” attitude will get you nowhere. Using the Alex thinking “you have to come to me because seriously I have no freaking clue” must also end and balance must be restored. Don’t allow yourself to miss opportunities, for example: You see her all alone at the other end of the bar and you are with your friends and the two of you make eye contact. Don’t wait for her, you have to approach her because a group of people can be scary sometimes or she might be trying to be respectful if some girlfriend is hiding somewhere.

Be honest, let the big fat pink elephant out, called it what it is, “I’m terrible at this but I can’t stop looking at you and I’d hate to go home tonight regretting not talking to you.” A girl once said that to me and it literally turned me into a puddle on the floor, I could see how nervous she was and sincere and she got my undivided attention.

Be okay with “thanks but no thanks.” I know rejection sucks, in fact this week I was chatting with a girl doing my flirting thing (now that I’m an expert!) and she told me the distance was too long for her to be interested. Yes, I was shattered and wanted to throw up in my mouth in horror, but I just locked her car instead and got over it! I’m just kidding, seriously!! People have needs and some will voice them, just be polite and realize that you won’t always fit those needs.

Learn body language, the way people look and move tells you a lot about whether to proceed or not. Large dilated pupils indicate attraction, unless they are tall, then it’s not the one. Playing with hair, fidgeting, or stuttering like crazy (I hate this one) is all a give away.

Lastly RELAX, don’t approach the situation with the intention that she will be your wife and have your ten children or that it will blow up and that if she felt the same, she would have approached you by now. Re-frame it, walk towards what you hope will be a conversation and a journey of discovery towards another person with a destination unknown. That will definitely make the adventure more interesting (Thanks Tann for that one, it’s all you.)

Well, I’m off to Charlotte, NC PRIDE this weekend, so wish me luck with my new lessons and if I forgot anything, let me know!

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

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