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Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online
Here are the top ten things you should avoid when approaching women online. This will be the most important online dating and relationship advice you read all year.
Mistake #1: Sending her “just” a wink
Most online dating sites allow you to send “winks” or “show interest” for free. But what does this tell her about you? When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy who isn’t serious about contacting her and too cheap to shell out the $20 membership.
What a wonderful way to start a relationship… No!
She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop”. Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at anything that moves. So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when dozens of guys take the time to send her real messages every day?
Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo on your profile
This one should be easy, but the fact is that most men don’t upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more views than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4x more views than profiles with bad photos.
Let me ask you… When you log on to a dating site and search, don’t you look first for women with photos on their profile? Why would she be any different? Many women will assume you have something to hide if you don’t post your photo – like maybe your wife…
If you don’t like your photo, get a professional one. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.
If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo. Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure you upload a LASAK photo. Nothing is more disappointing than meeting someone and realizing that the picture they sent you was 20 years ago and 40 pounds ago!
Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject line Fact #1: Guys outnumber girls at least two to one on most online dating sites and that’s a conservative number.
Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages on any given day.
You can have the most amazing profile and you can send her the most interesting message, but she may never see it because you failed to capture her interest with the subject of your email.
Give her a reason to open your message in the first place! It must stand out among all the others, or it has a high chance of being deleted and never read. Spend as much time creating an interesting subject line as you do writing the rest of your message. Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so she knows you’re actually reading it and are genuinely interested in more than just her looks. Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic, or otherwise lame message
So you’ve been trying to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to get the most out of your membership. But then you came up with a standard message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls. You go! At least that’s what you think…
Okay, reality check. Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame message a mile away, and the delete button is always nearby. So, why not take a different approach? Actually read her entire profile (we know it’s a pain, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her a witty, personal message.
Remember that you are messaging her and she needs to feel like she is the only girl in the whole world that you are interested in. Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or refer to someone or things you found interesting in their profile. Then, end each message with a “clear call”. Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you’d like her to do next. Don’t let her wonder. An example is “talk to you soon” or “drop me a line”.
Mistake #5: Taking too long to reply to her message
With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women off by appearing too eager or desperate. So they get her message and then wait… and wait… and wonder when it’s “okay” to reply to her.
Let’s get this straight. Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will probably help you stand out from the other dozen guys who messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you strike much better while the iron is hot. Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she’s still logged in. Forget the “head games” and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you’ll be fine! Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon
So you messaged this really cool girl, and she responded with a basic “Hi” message. now what? You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?
Stop it! Asking her for ANY personal information in your first few messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts. Think of two dogs approaching each other…what are they doing? They approach slowly and carefully, and begin to smell each other. Why do they do this? They get to know each other. People are the same in many respects.
Don’t scare her. Take it slow and let her get to know you before asking for personal information. Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message
Yes she is really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexy… So you think it’s ok to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG! Unless you’re on AdultFriendFinder.com or another adult site, sexual innuendo probably won’t help you. They will most likely torpedo any chances you might have with her. So don’t do it. Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number
Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is in it this month) money scam. Social networking sites, including online dating sites, are plagued by scammers. And guys you know are falling for it every day…
Remember, the whole “if it sounds too good to be true” idea still stands! If your online profile is really bad, and suddenly a girl who looks strangely like a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it slow. And do NOT send money or other financial information to get her to come to you. Mistake #9: Checking out her “really hot” nude photos on her personal website
The ever-popular “cam girl” phenomenon surprises scores of new men every day. So, what is a “camgirl?” Well, let’s say you’re browsing profiles and come across this cool girl. She looks polite, approachable, and wears a very suggestive outfit. To make it better, her profile has a link to her “private website” where you can “see more of her”.
What luck! So you click on that link, and to your surprise, you have to “verify your age by providing a credit card number”. Hmm. If you want to browse an adult site, then go ahead and enjoy. But recognize this for what it is – an often teenage high school male pretending to be a really hot girl to make money by sending happy netizens (read: you) to a pay-per-view adult site. Mistake #10: Not knowing what you really want
The last blunder is actually by far the most important… Put simply, most guys take the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything. Then they wonder why they are not happy with the women they meet. Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?
Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you’re looking for… What kind of woman do you really want to meet today? That way you don’t waste your time messaging a really great ‘single mom’ when you know damn well you don’t want kids. If you’re outdoors, you probably don’t want to spend time messaging a woman who tells you on her profile that she’s allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)
It will be worth your time to understand what you are really looking for!
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